Wednesday, July 31, 2002 :::
 
That is an adorable kitten. And you mispelled "xtreem." Only un-xtreem wussy losers use the e.

-Matt, now xtreem kitten will play "chicken" with Rush Limbaugh's limousine using the batmobile, which will be equipped with a magnetic ray device which will make it impossible for the limo to veer away. Xtreem kitten will eject from the vehicle moments before impact, and catch Limbaugh's smoking, severed head in midair. Then, for her final trick, xtreem kitten will light the remaining hair on the head on fire , release herself from her ejection seat, and slam dunk the head into a basketball hoop , shattering the backboard and plunging the burning head into a bath tub full of gasoline, resulting in an incredible two-hundred story fireball. Then xtreem kitten will lick her paw.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 3:28 PM


 
*sobs* All my hard work...for nothing...
Well, except for the kitten. I think that was worthwhile.
I'm going to go question the value of my existence. And maybe get a soda.

-Carter, I'm into extreme kitten.

::: posted by Carter at 2:00 PM


 
And the fucking archives have gone again. God damn it Blogger, give those archives back!!
*tackles Blogger*
And where do you think you're going with those? I think we-OW! Hey, quitit! Stupid thing, put me-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
You son of a-HLEEEGGHHHH!! Let go of me! Have at you!! Face my fists of righteous pain, daemon server!! NOOOO!!!
*Note: due to violent content, the following scene has been deemed inappropriate for your viewing. Please look at this kitten instead*
---------------
Well, that was quite a scrape, but we won out in the end.
Archives returned! Yes! We ARE the champions!
*blasts Queen at unholy volumes*
Sorry, Molly, but I'm at a bit of a loss for activities. Just...you know...whatever you and Theo normally do?

-Carter, I was a little worried when he swallowed me, but, well, you know the rest.

::: posted by Carter at 1:43 PM


 
I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU!!!

-Carter, only time will tell if I have anything more to contribute.

::: posted by Carter at 1:51 AM



Monday, July 29, 2002 :::
 
Well at nine tomorrow I get my teeth extracted. Yay!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:11 PM


 
Once, on whose line, Collin was doing "superheroes" and Wayne came into the room. Wayne, of course, is famous for his ability to do pretty much any dance style they throw at him WELL. Just to try to trip him up, Collin said "Thank God you're here Break-dancing Kid!" And Wayne actually break-danced. He did a few rotations on his back, on carpet, no less, and spun into a standing position.

That's how I feel about you right now. I give you an amazing, seemingly impossible task to do, but which conforms to your special talents, and you DO IT. Jesus, you're amazing.

Anyway, thank you very very much.

-Matt, Christ, the man's amazing.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 5:24 PM


 
Matt, I cannot speak with absolute certainty, but I believe that this is the interview you are looking for. That page doesn't credit it to Ben Is Dead, but there's an answer in the alt.spooky FAQ that quotes the same response about Happy Noodle Boy and says that the answer came from an interview in issue #29 of BID. Also, I have confirmed that the person this page DOES credit the interview to (Selina Romao) used to work for BID. So I'm about 80% sure on this. I'm going to go read that travel log now, let me know if you need anything else.

-Carter, son of a BITCH that was hard

::: posted by Carter at 3:34 PM


 
Oh, and Carter, *good morning mister Phelps* I have a little favor to ask of you, should you have the will or the time to accept it. Last night I spent an hour in a futile internet search to find a transcript of a Jhonen Vasquez interview in the now out-of-print Ben is Dead Zine. The Ben is Dead website everyone links to seems to be a porn site now. I tried other permutations of the address, but to no avail. Unable to get it from the official website, I searched for other zine sites and zine fansites which might have a transcript. I managed to find the cover Jhonen did, which was cool, because it was his first collaboration with Rosarik Rikki Simmons as his colorist, but I found no interview. Again, all I found were links to a site which is now a porn site, except for one direct link to the interview, but the link was dead.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to somehow use your better computer talents and far superior knowledge of general obscure culture to attempt to find me a transcript of the Jhonen Vasquez interview from issue #29 of Ben is Dead. Good luck to you. *salutes*

-Matt, This message will self destruct in the environmentally friendly way, by biodegrading over the next thirty thousand years.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 2:13 PM


 
As promised, Molly.

This is a website where Jhonen and his travelling companions wrote a daily log on their big tour across the country. In it, Jhonen attempts to slowly poison Rob, they actually loose one guy, and they think up 200 funny euphamisms for sex. Also includes the story about the guy Jhonen met in New Mexico who said the Mexicans were ruining the place. Jhonen VASQUEZ, being mexican, didn't agree with his views. It's mostly non-fiction, and very funny. It's so funny it will make you stand upside-down and loose all control fo your bodily functions, so you'll be puking out of your ass and spewing diarrhea out of your mouth and nose. Some parts are about that disgusting, too, so if that description seemed just a little too gross for you, you might want to just skip it, and most of Jhonen's work as well.

-Matt, I'd say something weird and funny, but nothing I can say will top what you're about to read.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 2:02 PM



Sunday, July 28, 2002 :::
 
My grandmother as she walked by just now: "Well Matt, ya got a good lookin' couple of girlfriends! Heh heh heh!" Please, God, give me the strength not to push her through a meat grinder.

Matt, well, I guess I can at least console myself at the fact that she NEVER, EVER says nice things about people, especially not their looks, so I guess it's a good thing, by her standards, at least. Although I don't particularly like the idea that she either thinks I'm a pimp or the owner of a small herem of my friends...

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:58 PM


 
Hey, Molly, we gotta update the top of the website for Greg.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:31 PM


 
Ooh, well, I look forward with GREAT anticipation to seeing you in that shirt. ;-)

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:28 PM


 
You know, Matt, your deranged early-morning ravings have all but convinced me that I need to buy this shirt. Words of wisdom "When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered Dragon, remember, you do not have to outrun the Dragon..."

-Carter, "...you just have to outrun the halfling."

::: posted by Carter at 3:27 PM


 
It's time yet again for another edition of "weird songs I sing while getting cleaned up in the morning"

This week we feature a heavy metal tune about odd congenital deformities, halflings with severed toes, and the difficulty they cause said halflings.

*Duh dunh duhhhhh!* Yer like a toad born with no nose,
you're like a leper with no toes,
you're like a tired man on no-doze,
you're like a furry-footed hobbit with no toes! *guitar squeal*
-Who's ruuuuuunnnnnnning for-his-life,
but his lack of toes makes it hard to run! Fuck! Yeah!
*guitar solo*
Uranium dog glows, cause' he got dat radiation, mutha fucka!
Wuh-ship-da-devil! <--(said in distorted "subliminal" voice.)

Christ, I'm bizerre in the morning.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 2:43 PM



Friday, July 26, 2002 :::
 
Wow...Ben just came within a single letter of being deluged with unending spam for the rest of eternity.
Christy, in the future, be careful posting literal addresses where harvesters can find them, ok?

-Carter, that little g just made a world of difference

::: posted by Carter at 8:47 PM


 
Very like, yes. Although slightly less...ummm...yeah...

-Carter, it would be nice if people wouldn't mention Ren and Stimpy when I'm eating...

::: posted by Carter at 2:17 PM


 
Sock glue? Liek in those "stay put socks" from Ren and Stimpy?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:51 PM



Thursday, July 25, 2002 :::
 
I do know that feeling, Matt. Although honestly it doesn't really bother or disgust me at all. Beyond the inherent level of saccharine poisoning that comes from all Sanryo products that is. And just to clarify, as it seems that some people are misinterpreting it, this is NOT intended to be used by twelve year olds. It really is intended for adults with very strange taste.

And, incidentally, if anybody wants one, I know where they are sold.

-Carter, it's actually the same place that sells authentic Japanese sock glue. Seriously.

::: posted by Carter at 11:58 PM


 
Wow...Carter, you know that feeling where you want to go eat an entire box of baking soda and then drink vinegar really fast, just so you can projectile vomit really dramatically? That's the feeling that that product gives me.

and now for a random scene from UHF:

(Television advertisement)- "Tired of cheap, low-quality funerals?" *camara pans across graveyard full of bodies half-sticking out of the ground*

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:22 PM


 
Whoops, there go the archives again. I hate it when that happens...
There, that's got it.
Molly, if you're reading this, I'm ready for your file transfer, so where the heck are you?
And continuing on Matt's penis-shaped stuff theme, I present the strangest penis-shaped thing I have ever seen.
Before you ask, yes, it IS a liscensed Hello Kitty product. And no, I don't know what's wrong with some people.

-Carter, japanese culture fascinates me...


::: posted by Carter at 12:59 PM


 
Yaaaaaayyyyyyy! Molly blogging again! Wheee! I'm serious about this.

In other good news, I passed my driving test. You can read more about it on my personal blog.

I can now legally transport myself and others, if need be.

And I completely forget how I stumbled on it, but the other day I found a bachelorette party store online with pretty much anything imaginable, shaped like a penis. Penis-shaped forks and knives, penis shaped popsicle molds, penis shaped horns, penis plates, penis drink stirrers, and my favorite, penis cookie cutters.It was hilarious, I wish I knew how I found it.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:10 PM



Tuesday, July 23, 2002 :::
 
Well, that was a royal bitch pain in the ass. I had alot of customizations on my template, and I had to find them all and re-write them. But it worked, anyway. I can publish now. Thanks Nick! You rock.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:05 PM


 
Carter, HELP!! I keep getting this message:

Error 503:Unable to load template file: /home/Templates2/3242122_a.html (server:page)

and I can't publish my blog. Any ideas on how to help? Their discussion forum has yielded no effective solutions.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 8:37 AM



Monday, July 22, 2002 :::
 
Wooo, am I tired. And bruise-covered. And I'm an idiot, I left one of my bags in Molly's car. "Hmm. I started with four, and now I have three! Yep, I got everything! Bye!" David's delivering it later today.

Oh, hey Molly, speaking of artists, I found out who that Bosh guy was to whom Jhonen was referring. His name was Hieronymous Bosch. He lived from the mid fifteenth century to the early sixteenth century. He was a really sick but quite talented Dutch painter, who was famous for his very realistic and quite disturbing depictions of hell. His visions of hell were elaborate scenes filled with fish or insectlike demons eating and skewering people, broken, flaming buildings, lots of unhappy naked people with no genitals, and sharp tentacles leaping out of the landscape and grabbing hold of people and stabbing them. Some of the creatures, epecially the tentacles, bear a very close resemblance to the wall monster, so it's a good metephor. Here is his picture of the last judgement. Twisted little Dutchman, wasn't he?

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:17 PM



Sunday, July 21, 2002 :::
 
Well, I'm home.
Matt, the artist whose name we couldn't come up with (back me up here, Molly...) is named Ralph Steadman.
I'm trying to find an appropriate image to show you the splatter, but linking to things is such a bitch these days. Hopefully I'll have something by tomorrow.

-Carter, the splatter...the SPLATTER!!

::: posted by Carter at 8:30 PM



Thursday, July 18, 2002 :::
 
Hey, I'll see many of you tomorrow! :-) bye till then.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:37 PM



Tuesday, July 16, 2002 :::
 
And see you there, I hope.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:24 PM


 
Luck luck luck luck luckitty-luck-luck.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:23 PM



Monday, July 15, 2002 :::
 
Just so everyone isn't surprised, I won't be at the funtown thing tomorrow. I Apparently have work. I could skip it, but a: Harriet has no one else at the moment to do things for her, and b: the more money I earn, the more I have for bus fare to Maria's, should I need it, which it looks like I will. Speaking of which, Molly, if you do need to go Bus, get two tickets, and I'll pay you in cash for my ticket at the station.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:03 PM



Sunday, July 14, 2002 :::
 
So I got this letter today. Actually, I got it around two and a half weeks ago while I was away, but it only resurfaced today. At any rate, it's a very brief, polite letter asking if I'm interested in applying for a job at Vector. Said letter has left me with an interesting dilemma. On the one hand, this could be a rather appealing prospect, as it would provide me with money AND a reassuring feeling that I'm actually doing something. And it does seem that this sort of work (customer sales and service) could be within my abilities. Now, the problem is that I have never heard of Vector and the letter offers absolutely no clues about what this company is or does. This troubles me. For one thing, it could make the interview process a bit awkward.
Interveiwer: So, you want to work for Vector, huh?
Me: You bet! I've always been interested in...umm...stuff...

Plus there's always the possibility that Vector is very big in the baby killing industry or something, and it would be nice to know this in advance.
Hmm...

-Carter, pondering.

::: posted by Carter at 11:19 PM



Friday, July 12, 2002 :::
 
Hey everyone! It's time for some fun with the news! First, an entertaining article for all you gamers out there! Looks like the army game is the hot new thing!

The U.S. Army announced that more than 400,000 people have downloaded the service's new recruiting game since it became available last week.

As previously reported by CNET News.com, "America's Army" is a pair of games, one a squad-based shooter imitating military tactics and another a simulation game that replicates a typical Army career path. The games were developed by teams at the Naval Post-Graduate School in Monterey, Calif., and the Army is making them available for free as recruiting tools.

An early "Recon" version of the games became available for download July 4 from the Army's main recruiting site and other Web outlets and quickly became a major bandwidth-burner.

According to an announcement from the Army, 400,000 copies of the game were downloaded over the long weekend, and more than 240,000 players already have completed the "basic training" portion of the game to qualify for online play, forcing the Army to scramble to triple the number of servers dedicated to the game.

"With this great demand, we've taken all measures to ensure that everyone who wants to play the game will be able to," said Lt. Col. Casey Wardynski, project originator and director. "We've increased the number of servers, increased the number of gamers that can play in a mission, and are releasing software this week to let gamers host their own servers."
----------------------

Now onto other fun fun news, the president announced earlier this week that he would clean up corprate crime and throw the perpetrators in jail. I wonder if that would include his vice president, who, along with the rest of the board of directors of his company,Hallburton Co., is being sued by twelve investors and one watchdog group for gross inflation of profits. Cheney's lawer claims that although Hallburton certainly engaged in "agressive accounting tactics", it never lied or did anything illegal. Incidentally, the company handling all of Cheney's "agressive accounting" was none other than the infamous Arthur Andersen firm.

But Cheney's not the only one in the white house to be in trouble. On top of having slept with (figuratively only, I hope to God) pretty much every exec currently being investigated for fraud, Bush was also once investigated for insider trading. The undisputed facts of the case are that Bush sold $848,560 of his stock as the company was taking a stock price nose dive. Investors were informed two months later. The law is, immidiately after the sale, Bush should have reported it, but he waited an aditional eight months before telling the SEC. He has given several explanations for this little "boo boo." Now, during his news conference, Bush claimed rightly that he was investigated, but never charged. But he failed to menthin for some reason that the investigator appointed to his case was appointed by his father. Woops! Forgot to mention something again, I guess.

But don't despair, there are some people in government who don't cheat and don't take filthy money. Like the Green party, for instance. Recently, New Mexico state chairman John Dendahl offered the greens a quarter of a million dollars to run a senate candidate, which they hadn't been planning on doing, just to take away votes from the democrats. Now, before I go on with the story, HOW STUPID IS THIS MAN??!! HAS HE THE BRAIN WORMS?!?!! Yes, I'll just offer a bribe to a party whose main platform is absolutely no bribe taking! You know what, John, you can also get out of a parking ticket if you give the officer a twenty! Fucking moron. The greens, of course, said no, and told the Democrats about the offer. Now the Democrats and the greens are both very pissed at the republicans. (And just a little note here, half a million doesn't sound like much, but the Green's entire presidential campaign budget wasn't even a million, so that's alot of money for them.)

So that's it for News fun today folks! See you next time!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 4:35 PM



Tuesday, July 09, 2002 :::
 
Bioware. Close, though. Warcraft III was just released by Blizzard so I can see how one might get confused. That's supposed to be good too. And it's worth mentioning that NWN is a licensed AD&D game. Based on the third edition rules. If you haven't played an AD&D computer game since the eighties, they've stopped sucking. Also, NWN is most notable in that it allows actual people to function as DMs, creating, designing and finally overseeing quests and campaigns for players over a network. Most cool.

And, yes, Greg I can definitely see where you're coming from. I think for me what I feel that the implied legal vote of confidence in gamers having free will overrides any queasiness I feel. And while I can see why they could, the ads don't really bother me. I just wish they'd stop calling me.

-Carter

::: posted by Carter at 8:55 PM



Sunday, July 07, 2002 :::
 
Um...an outhouse? I hope he cleaned it out a bit before he put it in the water...

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:46 AM



Saturday, July 06, 2002 :::
 
Mmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm making a batch of my favorite spaghetti sauce, a strong, fragrant wine and olive red sauce. The delicious smell of bubbling wine, tomatoes, and sweet onions is filling the kitchen, and my fingers smell like fresh garlic and capers from chopping. Man, making italian food smells good. And I think this is gonna be an especially good batch. I was chopping garlic extra-fine like I've never chopped gerlic extra fine before, and my onions were paper-thin. And also, it'll be interesting processing the sauce this time, because our food processor is broken, so I'll be using an old-style food-mill like contraption. Oh my god, this smells good.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 5:21 PM


 
Hey, last night they had an invader zim episode where GIR went evil, and for a little while he was not cute. Not even a little. I kid you not. I didn't think it possible. But it's true. Good episode, too. The title was "GIR goes all crazy and stuff." Now you KNOW with a title like that, it's gonna be good.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 2:25 PM



Friday, July 05, 2002 :::
 
You know Carter, odd thing about the army, which Arlo Guthrie encountered when he went to his local recruitment center to enlist (as heard in Alice's resteraunt): They actually won't take you if they think you want to kill, or if the otherwise feel you're not moral enough to join an organization dedicated to training people to efficiently exterminate as much human life as possible. I kid you not. They won't take you if you have a criminal reccord. If you walked into a recruitment center saying "I wanna join the army so's I kin go kill people like on that game", they'd throw you out. Course,if you didn't mention it, they'd let you in.

And you're right Carter, the idea of morons looking for a paradise life video game killing joining the army is hilarious. I imagine some pasty, flabby asshole,who gets winded getting off the couch to go to the bathroom, finding himself in his first day of boot camp, looking down with big, doughy, wet eyes at a pile of weapons parts on the floor, with a gigantic, scary man screaming right in his ear that if he doesn't get that weapon put together in the next two seconds, he'll be running ten miles with a sixty pound pack on his back, wetting his pants, and bursting out into a tantrum of projectile-crying.

Wow, what a satisfying image.

And wait, LIFE in prison? For pot? For pot that wasn't his?How is that even legal? Oh my god, that's awful...

And finally, are you familliar with the game "I have no mouth but I must scream?" Hint: Harlan Ellison.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 8:01 PM


 
Perhaps they do, but there's something wrong with them and they won't republish properly. I'll have to look into it when I'm finally over all this jet lag stuff.
Meanwhile, let me clarify something. I never said that I'm TRYING to be unattractive, merely that I PLAN to be unattractive. I'm far too lazy to put any real effort into not breeding. Although I will admit to having tried to be a dumb jerk as a last ditch effort to avoid sex, Matt. And furthermore, the whole point of this is really to NOT have my kettle boiled, just to clarify.
Now, Greg, about this game. This is going to be quite the rant, so anyone who doesn't care would do well to just skip it.
Before my actual explanation, let me just say a few things:
First, although it occurs to me that most of you may not know this, I am a gamer. Like most of my hobbies, I try to do it quietly, in the comfort of my own home. I tend not to discuss this kind of thing except with other gamers, because quite frankly no reasonable person wants to hear me yelling and screaming about how amazing Neverwinter Nights is or the latest rumors about what Star Wars: Galaxies is going to be like. No one cares. Nonetheless, on most days I can be considered a hardcore gamer.
Second, I don't like the army. At all. This may seem unfair, as I have never been in the army so I can't really have an educated opinion, but I feel that I've gotten a pretty good impression over the years. They do seem to represent a lot of the things that I find wrong with humanity in general and this country in particular. Plus I have a semi-personal annoyance with them ever since one of my cousins decided that joining the army was a good idea. He wound up getting tried and convicted under military law (a very strange branch of our legal system that does not have such concepts as innocent until proven guilty, or the right to an attorney, etc) and now may well be in prison for the rest of his life because his roommate smoked pot. So, no sympathy for the army.
BUT the army is always trying to recruit people. I can accept this. Aside from killing people, it's pretty much their purpose. We are surrounded by posters, TV commercials, junk mail, telemarketing recruiters and so forth. And we're pretty much fine with that. No one I know is going to claim that the "Army Of One" ads are part of some fascist mind control program designed to rob america's youth of their free will. At least not too seriously. And the game is no different. It's just another form of advertising.
That's the thing, you can't have it both ways. Either american kids are mindless violence sponges who do anything that a video game tells them to, or they aren't. So, just as long as Quake is not responsible for the Columbine incident, the army is free to advertise in game form if it damn well pleases. My opinion is that anybody who could ever conceivably go out and shoot someone, be it government sanctioned or otherwise, simply because pop culture told them to has deep seated issues that can't be cured by putting them in a media vacuum. And as far as I'm concerned, if anyone decides that since the game is so darned cool then the army must be pretty nifty too, so where do I sign up please? then they DESERVE to join the army. Maybe THAT will teach them the difference between reality and fantasy.
THAT'S why I'm in favor of this game. And once a controversial video game is produced as part of a government sponsored program, it will (in theory) give people like me some more means to fend off shit like this. Here is a judge from St. Louis who recently declared that games do not constitute a form of protected free speech under the grounds that they are inherently incapable of communicating ideas. Excuse me? So all movies are automatically protected, and no game ever can be? So Xenogears doesn't communicate any meaningful ideas and yet Scooby Doo does? This man claims that he "reviewed four different video games and found 'no conveyance of ideas, expression, or anything else that could possibly amount to speech.' " and that "video games have more in common with board games and sports than they do with motion pictures."
And which four games did he look at? Upon what examples was an entire medium found to be worthless? Well, let's see.
1 : "Mortal Combat"
2 : "Fear Effect"
3 : "DOOM"
4 : "The Resident of Evil Creek"
Ok, this is just sad. One of them is spelled wrong and that last one doesn't even exist. I'm just going to assume he meant "Resident Evil". They're not even trying here. Now, I'm sorry, but games ARE speech, judge Limbaugh. At least as much as movies, and in many cases probably more so. And the army game is no different. It IS a recruitment tool, but no more insidious than a poster or commercial, unless you want to assume that the people playing it are very, very stupid. And there are worse things than the army that can happen to stupid people. Of course, admittedly your average poster doesn't cost seven million dollars of tax money, but that's a different issue. And as far as I'm concerned, any part of the military budget that's not spent on guns and bombs is no bad thing. And for seven mil, it looks like a totally decent game.
So there you have it. It's propaganda, sure, but at the end of the day propaganda is just a big word for commercial. It's a big commercial, let it go. Or better yet, do what I'm gonna do. Download it, play it, enjoy it, and then DON'T join the army. Stick it to the man by not being an idiot.

-Carter, one of these days I'll recover and get around to telling you about my trip...

::: posted by Carter at 6:25 PM



Thursday, July 04, 2002 :::
 
And I agree, whatever boils your kettle. Absolutely WHAT EVER. *wink wink.*

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:31 PM


 
Christy's right. Your plan could still leave you succeptible to hoards of women rushing at you screaming "I wanna fuck your mind!!" and attempting to rape themselves with you in order to concieve a child with your class, wit, and intelligence. Your only hope is to act like a dumb jerk as well as being ugly.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:30 PM


 
Well, I'm back. This is undeniably good, but it would be so much better if the bastard weather hadn't followed me home. My house is air conditioned and full of fans, but it's still waaaaaay too damn hot and now it's humid as well. Fantabulous. So now, despite having only had about seven hours of sleep since monday there is no way I can get any rest. But I am home. This is happy. I need to catch up, but I'll do it once I'm coherent again. In the meantime, to sum up: I am home, I am hot, I am tired. I am opposed to current version of the pledge of allegiance. I am also, believe it or not, in favor of the America's Army game, Greg. I'll do my best to explain why later. Finally I am in favor of people opting not to breed, Christy. I have made a similar, somewhat less official, decision myself and I plan to achieve this goal through being profoundly unattractive.
That is all.

-Carter, so very tired...

::: posted by Carter at 7:11 PM



Wednesday, July 03, 2002 :::
 
Hmm. Sounds like a perfectly reasonable idea to me. Besides, orphanages are practically overflowing with kids, there's really no need to pump out your own. On another practical consideration, you also avoid labor pains. If you're worried about being stupid and changing your mind, you CAN have your fallopian tubes tied, you know. It's a common operation, similar to a vasectomy in a male. Then you could enjoy all the wild crazy Christy lovemaking you wanted without worries about any babies.

And as for the rest of you, I guess you can tell by now, I'm back online. Spent a bit of time this afternoon performing some tedius computer surgery, but I'm happy to say the patient pulled through just fine.

And yes, that was an amazing story Ben. Extreemly stylish and well composed, I thought. I had a little "ooh, I just read something good" smirk on my face after reading it.

YO! Molly! GIR heading your way! And Christy and Nick agree with me, even splashing around gleefully in the pool of blood inside the open chest cavity of a decapitated human corpse, GIR is STILL adorable.

Well, g'night!

-Matt, every part of me is sticking to every other part of me. I just looked up and pulled my pants off. Honestly, this humidity is rediculous.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 9:55 PM

ARCHIVES :::

Ben, Nick, Molly, Matt, Carter, Maria, Christy, Jason, Greg, Eric, and UNCLE JEFF!! We are truly honored to have someone among us who is over 20 and claims to have some sort of responsibility. It won't last long.