Thursday, October 31, 2002 :::
 
In response to Christy's personal blog post: thank you so much sweetie. (Yes, I'm aware of how odd that sounds, I just felt like calling you that just now.) I was going to post something to you anyway, but I really must say that I find that really touching. Thank you. I'll give you a call tonight so you'll know I'm alive and not someone typing for Matt. I mean me.

As for what I was going to say, I've just been noticing this for awhile, and I thought I'd say it now: I'm not sure if it's been there all along, and I'd been missing it, or if it's a new character development in you, but you're getting to have one hell of a wit, Christy. I just notice it from time to time in little remarks you make, where I'll be really surprised by some word use of metaphor. You're developing a pleasantly blade-like wit, and I like it. My experience of knowing you has been being constantly surprised by your personality and your thinking, and you still continue not to disappoint.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:15 PM


 
If your reflection in the mirror runs away, do you disappear?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:04 AM


 
Happy Birthday Maria! *explosion of confetti and streamers...and blood, the result of taking alkaseltzer to quell stomach after eating too much colored paper.*

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:03 AM



Wednesday, October 30, 2002 :::
 
There!! Are you happy now??

-Carter, I need to get back on my lazy ass...

::: posted by Carter at 3:49 PM



Tuesday, October 29, 2002 :::
 
I suppose I can surmize from your blog entry, Christy, that your outdoor ed trip was not the most deliriously enjoyable experience of your life? Man, too bad you were in tennis for our sleep under the stars meet Mr. Duffy's new dog "I'm a sad panda" trip. That was one fun trip.

As for Jason. Ahem. "If Saddam got an abortion for his wife?" Hee. Hee hee hee. HEEEEE HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! Oh, dear, Carter, I think you've been inadvertently beaten in your mood-lightening abilities.

And all I have to say is I don't give a damn about babies before they're born, cause I can't eat them when they're in there. Not ripe yet, you see. Whe they come out da momma, that's when they's ready for eating. I like em' fried or boiled with butter myself, but everybody has their own way, you know. It's like oatmeal toppings.


-Matt, well, Christy, at least not wanting to be around the people made the trip ENDING even better, right?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:16 PM



Sunday, October 27, 2002 :::
 
I just dipped my keyboard in nacho cheese.
Just thought I'd try and lighten the mood a touch...

-Carter, yes, it was an accident.

::: posted by Carter at 8:37 PM



Saturday, October 26, 2002 :::
 
I've always been torn by this one- while I'm on the side of choice, I can't say as I don't understand people who believe that a baby is human, and therefore killing it is tantamount to murder. What I fail to understand is why it is almost always these same people who oppose methods of preventing unwanted pregnancies, like, say, BIRTH CONTROL PRODUCTS. Folks, preaching abstinence just ain't working. Be great if it did, I agree, but it doesn't. You'll just ahve to base your policies on the following reality: people have sex. Now pick ONE, and only ONE: do you want to stop unwanted pregnancies, or do you want to stigmatize and withhold birth control? Reality won't support both.

And I'd agree that men would change their tune if they got pregnant when raped. If Kirkwood got ass-raped tomorrow and started growing a baby, he'd be in the abortion clinic in a minute. (If I may digress slightly, I'd actually settle for seeing Jerry Falwell being given AIDS. He's always said that God made it to kill gays and other bad people. Well, let's see him explain why his God would allow him to contract it, then. And maybe as his flesh withers away from his bones over the course of several years, he'll learn some goddamned compassion, compassion he apparently hasn't gleaned from the sight of the twitching bodies of thousands of orphaned african little kids dying from AIDS, who, I presume, are all VERY BAD PEOPLE. Yes, I know that was unrelated to abortion. I said I was digressing.)

And that's my three cents.

-Matt, yup, with me, you get an EXTRA PENNY for my thoughts!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:21 PM



Friday, October 25, 2002 :::
 
Sounds like a great day for education. Just somewhere you weren't.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:33 PM


 
Incidentally, so far my highest score on the fling the cow game is 380.

I wanna see that monkey.

Oh, and Christy, that bouncing balls on linoleum on the moon metaphor is one of the best metaphors I've ever heard in my life. And no, I think you're right, I agree with the man thing.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:43 AM



Thursday, October 24, 2002 :::
 
That would be whocaresnews.blogspot.com, I believe.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:37 PM



Wednesday, October 23, 2002 :::
 
Why would you HOPE that we don't go and find weird stuff? Why would you say something like that? What did we do to you, Jason? Why, Jason, WHY??!!

And good find, by the way. ^_^

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:32 AM



Tuesday, October 22, 2002 :::
 
I'm sorry, Jason, but the Onion was not involved. As a matter of fact, I DO just sit here and look for the most bizarre random crap I can find.

-Carter, I hope you feel better now...

::: posted by Carter at 11:05 PM


 
The link wasn't working before. Dear god, it really is cow shaped, isn't it? Jesus Christ...

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:55 PM


 
Many thanks from me also. I have very limited time on the computer hereeeeee and I can't be spending time searching for things. And what the hel happened with the "e" key back there?

-Scab boy

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:10 PM



Monday, October 21, 2002 :::
 
A fair question, scab boy. Honestly, I'm just trying to keep people's searching skills from totally atrophying from disuse. If you REALLY want to take the easy way out I can give you the cow crater. And what the hey, let's have a look at the piano crater and the smoldering wreckage of an oil drum filled fith gasoline while we're at it. Just for good measure, here's an interesting article about a hunter who killed a man that was trying to steal his car by firing an arrow into his ass.

-Carter, are you people happy NOW?

::: posted by Carter at 11:02 PM


 
Let me get this straight. You found a picture of a cow-shaped crater, but didn't find it link-worthy. Ahem. What in the hell is wrong with you?!

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:52 PM


 
And not just a dead cow! Dead dogs and horses, too. As well as a dead piano. This may sound morbid and disgusting, but if you think about it, it really is quite superior to flinging a LIVING animal. Although there has been talk about launching a live person, I'm not sure anything will come of that since an accelerometer that got launched determined a person would experience 20 gs for several seconds. Yeah, ouch. Plus the landing would be a bitch.

Anyway, it's not actually a catapult, it's a "trebuchet" and the man's name is "Hew Kennedy". That should make it easier to find, but I haven't come up with any truly linkworthy pages yet.

-Carter, the cow-shaped crater is oddly fascinating...

::: posted by Carter at 2:47 PM



Sunday, October 20, 2002 :::
 
No video, yet. But a quick follow up. Wow, what a mess.

-Carter, I'll let you know...

::: posted by Carter at 8:13 PM


 
SLOW MOTION video footage.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:51 PM


 
How...painful. I feel for you, scab boy.
In other news, thre really is no practical application for firing a pumpkin into the back of a Pontiac at 900mph but I can honestly say this is the most respect I've ever had for someone who was in Indiana.

-Carter, if only they would post video footage of this...

::: posted by Carter at 4:06 PM


 
No, I don't believe a band-aid would be sufficient, what with the bleeding being both heavy and spanning my entire face. I'll just wait until it clots and dries. Then I can have a new nickname: Scab boy!

And it's pteradactyl, by the way. But I'll forgive that one, because it really makes nop sense to spell at all.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:08 PM



Thursday, October 17, 2002 :::
 
"Mofo" is gangsta speak, short for "mother fucker." And thank you, by the way. My face has become grotesquely glazed with dripping blood, the result of my blushing really, really hard, and bursting all of the surface capillaries in my face.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:00 PM



Wednesday, October 16, 2002 :::
 
Hey Greg, do you know yet the name of this bus company for the great mystery plan you have in store for us? I'm plucking ducks and stuffing pillows with their naked bodies and roasting the feathers I'm so anxious.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:37 PM



Friday, October 11, 2002 :::
 
Um, why does Christy's being home in Maine mean you, in Massachusetts, will get to see her? I am confused. And furthermore, why in the hell would you have to explain o anyone why you love Christy?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:38 PM



Wednesday, October 09, 2002 :::
 
Unfortunately it looks like Webster didn't notice the difference between "whether" and "weather".

-Carter, spell checkers really are our great triumph over ourselves

::: posted by Carter at 10:57 PM


 
No, don't edit it, you fool, or he'll never learn how to spell it!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 4:56 PM


 
Ok, I took the liberty of adding a few strategic line breaks to your post, Jason. Sorry, but the foramatting was very unhappy.

-Carter, let's everyone try NOT to do that again...

::: posted by Carter at 2:08 AM



Monday, October 07, 2002 :::
 
I THINK he meant that he had more questions than he was prepared to actually write up at the moment.
It's either that, or he only needs another handful of punctuation marks before he can build a super race of pac-man style minions of his own design.

-Carter, only time will tell...

::: posted by Carter at 11:28 PM


 
That made absolutely no sense, Jason.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:42 PM



Sunday, October 06, 2002 :::
 
Be seems to make blogs like a sexually permiscuous male having one-night-stands with women. He makes a blog, does some stuff with it, for a little while, then completely abandons it.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 9:04 PM



Wednesday, October 02, 2002 :::
 
Huh?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 9:16 PM



Tuesday, October 01, 2002 :::
 
The only thing you can do is to keep posting until it lets one through.

Matt, eat the lettuce...or die.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:56 AM

ARCHIVES :::

Ben, Nick, Molly, Matt, Carter, Maria, Christy, Jason, Greg, Eric, and UNCLE JEFF!! We are truly honored to have someone among us who is over 20 and claims to have some sort of responsibility. It won't last long.