Wednesday, November 27, 2002 :::
 
Snow...SNOW! Weeeheeeheeeheeeheee!!!

-Carter, SNOW!!!!

::: posted by Carter at 3:42 PM


 
That is so creepy- Ben, last night I had the sudden urge to write "King Kong died for your sins" On our door eraser board. My godess, man, we're telepathically connected!

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:13 PM



Monday, November 25, 2002 :::
 
Oh,and yay, I'll get to see Molly! But now I no see Christy. Tis' an imperfect world, eh?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:37 AM


 
You caught me Jeff. I was spying on you to make sure you weren't some kind of welcher or lush or cheater or something. So I adopted this identity to hear your conversations with your friends to make sure you were doing my little daughter right. Make sure you were on the straight-and-narrow, you know? And don't think that just because you've found me out here that I don't have lots of other ways of keeping track of you. I have bugs all over your house. I have spreadsheets charting the number of times you use the bathroom. I got eyes surgically implanted in the back of my head, eyes with x-ray vision. And they're on you, Jeff. One slip up, you so much as LOOK at another young woman in a way I don't like, and I'll kill you in your sleep, cut you into fifty pieces, and mail one to every state in the union. Comprende?

Oh, but it IS so nice to finally have a Man in the family. *casts sideways glance at husband*

Bye Jeffie dear!



::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:35 AM



Sunday, November 24, 2002 :::
 
hmmmmmm it looks like that time of year. I'll be in Maine from Monday to Monday. My number up there is 207-623-4131, before 10pm, cause it's my mom's house. Will there be times when i can see people? See colors? Meet people? Meet colors? Matt, I think you are my mother in law.

::: posted by Jeff at 9:51 PM


 
Okay, for you folks whom I want to see and who may want to see me, I present the days that I wll be in Maine and seeable:

I can see people in Maine on the 29th and the 30th. I return to New York on the first. For Molly, I believe you said you would be in New york on the second. I could see you any time from 9:00, with warning, to two thirty. I'd get an anbscence or a late, I'm not sure which, but I have no abscences yet anyhoo, so it wouldn't count against me. Once again, I do need warning if the meeting is to be earlier than eleven.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:40 PM



Monday, November 18, 2002 :::
 
Ahem. It would appear that the TMBG website is slighly mistaken. Specifically, They meant to say the 18th instead of the seventeenth, and seven nstead of seven thirty. So I will, in fact, be seeing Them tonight. But now I'm out ten bucks for the wasted train ride. Grr. Maybe I can get em' to do an encore for me.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:41 AM



Sunday, November 17, 2002 :::
 
Ahem....must...resist...temptation...to..be...really...obvious...and say "boy, Christy, that girl sounds pretty familliar."

I went to see Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets last night. I quite reccomend it, actually. It's Way, way better than the first movie, in much the same way that "the Empire strikes back" is a better film than "star wars." To carry the analogy further, it's much darker than the first in much the same way. The acting is about the same level, although many of the children have improved greatly, especially Hermione. There's even a vary Star Wars-esque monster scene. And, like star wars, it's just a tad sappy in places. But I mean original Star wars here, not the new movies, which are projectile-vomit sappy. The only place where my Empire Strikes Back analogy fails is in that it has a happy ending. Anyway, it's a great improvement over the first movie, and a thouroghly enjoyable film to watch.

And tonight I go to see They Might Be giants. So, except for scattered patches of burning resentment and violation welling up from time to time throughout the day, my life is doing pretty good. I am doing work too, by the way. Like after the film last night, I worked for four hours taking careful measurements of my photograph and transposing them onto a sheet of paper for a life-size self portrait. Plus, I'd spent all moring shopping for paper and stuff. Even so, Yesterday and today will consist of an unusual surfeit of fun time for me, which is good cause I need it. LOTSA work this week.

But life, such as it is, is good today.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:32 PM



Saturday, November 16, 2002 :::
 
Ok...Nick. I really have to say that SexyLosers only manages to not be porn so long as you don't know anyone twisted enough to enjoy it in that capacity. Even then just barely. There are some days when it REALLY tries.

-Carter, it's damn funny though...

::: posted by Carter at 9:49 PM



Friday, November 15, 2002 :::
 
Well, I'm about five foot seven, and 130 pounds. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I like cats. I'm a cartoonist. I'm leftist politically. I relish, nay, cherish filthy humor. My best friend is Molly. I live in Maine when not in school, but am currently in New York, as I am in school, and that's where my school is. I just broke up with my first girlfriend, who turned out to be an evil lying succubus bitch. Misogyny bothers me, and as a result, I make friends mostly with women. I am a good cook and I like doing it. I have hairy nipples and a toenail that grows perfectly flat. I stink of oil paint at the moment, but a shower will remedy that. The vast majority of people who meet me find me to be either a scary weirdo or a brainy egomaniacal freak, the people here being the exceptions. I have not yet been able to dicern what's wrong with them, but perhaps their introductions will shed some light on it. If anyone can think of anything else, feel free to chip in. Or refer to my blog.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:48 PM


 
Maybe he lives across from the other theater. But living in a 24-hr convenience store might be even less comfortable than the parking garage (although considerably more convenient).

So I'm delighted to be a part of this BLOG thing, but the people who I actually know don't seem to write much these days. I'm sure they're all very busy with important things like school or work or deworming. Who are the other people who I don't know? You know who you are. Why don't we just take a second to go around the room and introduce ourselves? Wouldn't that be swell???! Matt, you go first.

::: posted by Jeff at 11:54 AM


 
Thanks for the image Jason. I owe you one. Will everybody but Jason stop reading this post? Ahem: A sumo wrestler doing jumping jacks in an open kimono. There, my revenge is complete.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:18 AM



Thursday, November 14, 2002 :::
 
I learned how to ride a bike twice, and forgot both times. Once when I was eight, than again when I was fourteen. Today, I do not know how to ride a stinking bike. The moral: you won't know how to shave a year from now.

As for these movies, do you mean "Lord of the Rings"? Cause Gandalf got he'self a big ol' berad, he do.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:46 PM


 
Remember, kids, that's Who Cares news- the paper who's printing ink was specifically formulated to give you hives and cause birth defects in your babies!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:40 AM



Wednesday, November 13, 2002 :::
 
God, this has improved my night so much.

This article has a very funny accompanying picture. Go to www.xoverboard.com and go to the Nov. 7th article. Check out some of the other articles, too.

COCK!

PALMACHIM AIR BASE, Israel (Reuters, with word substitutions via XQUZYPHYR & Overboard Online) - Israel put its $2.2 billion cock on rare display on Thursday in an apparent warning to Iraq should it target the Jewish state again in retaliation for any U.S. attack.

"It is like a bullet able to hit a bullet," Arrow chief engineer Boaz Zevi told reporters given a tour of Palmachim Air Base where four mobile launchers containing six cocks each point at the sky from desert near the Mediterranean coast.

Aside from a steering defect since corrected, the 23-foot-long cock has passed seven tests showing it can detect,track and destroy a cock in under three minutes at altitudes of more than 30 miles, a senior military briefer said.

He said the cock's Green Pine radar -- a 50-by-17-foot dish at Palmachim -- had enabled Israel to slash the time between the launch and detection of a hostile cock by 70 percent since 1991.

An Iraqi cock would take about eight minutes to slam into Israel from launch pads Israeli and U.S. officials believe are in western Iraq, around 400 miles from the Jewish state.

Briefers said the cock marks a quantum advance from the Patriot, a cock imperfectly adapted to down cocks traveling at far higher speeds than planes and unable to reach space, the flight path of ballistic cocks like Scuds.

"We have reached huge capability in the past year, building up the very unique cock and a lower layer of cock defense provided by upgraded cocks," said Brigadier General Yair Dori, commander of Israel's cock.

"In 1991, we had almost nothing. We'd only begun building cocks. After just 10 years, we have a very robust, active cock. We can give Israeli civilians a safe feeling about the next conflict," he told reporters.

Military sources said the cock had not yet been tested against a "salvo" of cocks fired at once -- the stiffest challenge for any cock and a possible scenario if Iraq targets Israel again -- but would be soon.




::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:26 PM


 
"do you watch M*A*S*H*?"
"Yeah, Alda time!"

-Matt, I'll just be leaving now before someone shoots at me...

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:00 PM



Monday, November 11, 2002 :::
 
It's been awhile, I know, and you've probably all been biting your nails off to the bones in giddy anticipation of...

Another toothbrushing song!

Baa-bies, Baa-bies, marching of to warrr!
Babies, killing other babies by the score,
the bloody body parts and diapers, littering the field,
proves to everyone that the babie's battle is real!

And what the fuck is a "wonder plant?" Do they cure cancer? Turn soil to gold? What?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:05 PM



Sunday, November 10, 2002 :::
 
Hey Carter, I thought you oughtta know this: remember how on your trip to the anime convention you bought a tiny skateboard, about a foot long and maybe four or five inches wide? I saw a nine year old riding one down the street yesterday. Just thought I should let you know.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:40 PM



Friday, November 08, 2002 :::
 
I'm so sorry to hear that your father lives in a parking garage.

::: posted by Jeff at 8:31 PM



Thursday, November 07, 2002 :::
 
I was going to write something interesting, informative, and important, but, as you can see by the time stamp, I am very, very late for my 7:00 appointment.

This entry was brought to you by commas.

::: posted by Jeff at 7:09 PM


 
Actually, now that I have a girlfriend that I don't get to see as much as I'd like, I get to feel just as lonely in New York! It really HAS become like home to me! Actualkly, though, this will probably be alliviated Saturday, with any luck. Pleeeease, Spooky, do yer' thing.

OOH! JAPAN! Neat-o. I never been there, is it nice, and if so, why?

And Jason, it was a wombat, ala' Nick. Not a woodchuck. A woodchuck is from North America, whereas a wombat is australian in origin. They actually DO look much like my drawing, except they have flatter, wider heads. They also got big, hard, quare bums, and if a predator tries to get at them in their hole, they moon it to block up the entrance. Yhey're larger than in my drawing, in between two and three feet long. They are also fairly docile, slow, not criminally insane, and do not pounce upon you from the air.

-professor Matt, and this has been you learning moment for the day...

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:37 PM


 
Ahh, yes. To answer your questions, I am planning on making the pilgrimage to Japan this spring, hence the happy. Speaking of happy, it turns out I WILL be making it to Maria's this weekend.

-Carter, huzzah!

::: posted by Carter at 4:27 PM


 
Thank you, thank you. (does bowie motion) (Note, pronounced "bau-ee", as in "like a bow", not "Bowie", as in Ziggy Stardust.I am not attempting to lick you by smiling, or leave you to ha-ang.) On the time thing, It's always difficult to tell just how much time a cartoonist takes to do something, especially with a man like Vasquez, who lets ideas simmer for a long time, and also works on other projects like paintings and such on the side. However, he leaves clues in his work in the notes on the side, and from what I can determine, he probably puts in ten to twenty hours on a page. At this rate, he can put out a comic every three to four months, which is how often Johnny and Squee came out. It's also worth noting, however, that he deplores sleep, and consistently works from morning to, well, morning. Also, he has all day to work, whereas I have two hours or so. Finally, he occasianally enlists the help of either a computer or a professional letterer for some of the lettering in the comic. So considering all that, I was probably working at around his pace, which is still glacier-slow compared to most cartoonists, but hey, he's famous because of the quality and labor he puts in, and I intend to be the same way. I think your reactions prove that this is a valid approach, if not exactly the quickest money maker nor the most esaily marketable.

And now for something completely different...

I'm gonna get to see They Might Be Giants! They're doing an in-store performance in a Borders in white plains, and Metro North goes right to it! Wheeee! Unfortunately, I won't get to see they're Irving Plaza performance, but eh, I take em' how I can get em'. The performance will be on the eighteenth.


-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:50 AM



Wednesday, November 06, 2002 :::
 
Has anyone ever heard the one about the girl who chases down Pinnochio, sits on his face, and tells him to lie to her, dammit, lie to her!!? That's about it, actually.

Just while I was on the theme of people getting screwed, you know.

I saw a kid today wearing an interesting, if not cmpletely effective combination of goth and cowboy fashion.

To what country are you haeded? Not Egypt, I gather, since I detect more of an optimismistic tone to your words, rather than a suicidal one.

-Mattt, the extra "t" stands for choclate covered!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:17 PM


 
Yep. Welcome to the People's Republic of America.
Makes me want to leave the country again. Which I'm planning to do in the spring, incidentally, but not for as long as I'd like, now.
I think it's high time we gather up an angry mob of repressed intellectuals, head on down to D.C. and storm the White House. Then just smash down the doors of the oval office, waltz right in and say "Look, we'll pay for the damage".

-Carter, zen revoluuuuuuuution!

::: posted by Carter at 3:46 PM


 
Oh...my...fucking...god. The republicans now have control over every branch of the government. The democrats now have only fillibuster power to fight republican initiatives, and I think the last few months have shown that they'e too damn chicken to do that. So now bush doesn't even NEED to worry about subverting congress, he's got it in the palm of his hand. Welcome to one-party land, people.

-Matt, I need a cupcake...

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:18 AM


 
Thank you all for your warm(?) welcome and relatively painless hazing. You had me scared. In fact, it was no more upsetting than having the mail delivered. In fact, at first I thought it was the mail being delivered. Then it turned out to be a hazing. I think.

Anyhow, yes, I am over twenty and have some semblance of responsibility and I intend to use this space to gloat about the perks of my situation relative to your own. Exhibit no. 1: I just made cupcakes. It is 12:43am on Tuesday and I made cupcakes because I felt like it. I garuntee it is nobody's birthday that I am aware of. If any of you have had a birthday in the past few years, consider these cupcakes yours. They are vanilla, and will likely have chocolate frosting applied to them with a backhoe. In fact, they are in the oven now. They will be ready shortly.

Speaking of the oven, I just noticed a light on this appliance that says "Oven Cycle." None of the knobs seem to make this light glow. I really wish they did. Riding an oven around is probably good exercise. At least for the oven. Screw the bike. I'm taking the oven to work tomorrow.

::: posted by Jeff at 12:53 AM



Monday, November 04, 2002 :::
 
That's why I use "bajeezadhere" bajeezers glue. It keeps my bajeezers from freezing off even in the coldest, most grape-withering of climes. Yes folks, that's "bajeezadhere. "

Oh, and welcome, Jeff, nice to see ya. Now it's time for your hazing. Bend over backwards, open your mouth, and try not to flail your arms too much, and you will get a big surprise...

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:25 PM



Saturday, November 02, 2002 :::
 
ridiculous ecstasy hippopotamus

::: posted by Jeff at 2:01 PM



Friday, November 01, 2002 :::
 
It's never enough for you people, is it? Well, HERE, have lots of lynx. More lynx than you can shake a monkey at, but I'd sure like to see you try. I'm sure I've missed something or someone, so just make suggestions as you think of them. Meanwhile, I'm going away for the weekend, to a magic place where no one can find me. So just remember, if you have to bitch, bitch at Molly. This update was brought to you by the paper I'm not writing.

-Carter, yes, I just copied most of them from my personal blog. You got a problem with that?

::: posted by Carter at 1:02 AM

ARCHIVES :::

Ben, Nick, Molly, Matt, Carter, Maria, Christy, Jason, Greg, Eric, and UNCLE JEFF!! We are truly honored to have someone among us who is over 20 and claims to have some sort of responsibility. It won't last long.