Thursday, January 30, 2003 :::
 
And now for the democratic response to the president's speech:

"Hi. We want to do everything the republican's do, except we want to do it bigger and with even more money. Oh yeah, and some shit about women having rights too. We do have values! We do! WE DO!! Now, allow me to whine about how little money the republican's want to spend on everything, except war, a subject I will avoid, since I disagree with the president, but I'm a pussy and I don't want to be labeled a tratior. By the way, my father believed in the American dream and he worked hard, which somehow has something to do with me. Thank you. "

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:32 PM



Wednesday, January 29, 2003 :::
 
Well, he did say "nukuler" about fifteen times. It's like he said it wrong the first time, and decided he couldn't change it from then on. "No, I MEANT to say it that way.!"

Actually, there was one line that scared the shit out of me in that speech. He was talking about his progress in the war on terror. He stated that he had captured over three thousand suspected terrorists. THEN he said thatmany more had met another fate. "What is that? Well, let's just say thay're no longer a threat to us or our allies. " Now, dead terrorists isn't a huge problem for me. Fine. But...could he a bit less evil? I mean, he seems to distinctly enjoy this. It was the second coldest thing I've ever heard him say. (Second to his mocking that woman who was about to be executed.)

Then of course was the proclaimation at the end that God, the one God, backs the U.S., and only the U.S.

-Matt, okay then, who would Jesus bomb?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:59 AM



Tuesday, January 28, 2003 :::
 
Blah blah blah blah blah.

-Matt, there, I talked.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:05 PM



Monday, January 27, 2003 :::
 
Wow, all this squeegee talk really shut everyone up.

::: posted by Jeff at 10:43 PM



Sunday, January 26, 2003 :::
 
Go here ( http://homepage.mac.com/leperous/PhotoAlbum1.html ) now. Thank me later.

Matt, here's a sample:





::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:05 PM



Wednesday, January 22, 2003 :::
 
Oh little squeegee,
you make a sound like squee,
gee I wish you'd squeegee meegee.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 8:52 AM



Tuesday, January 21, 2003 :::
 
Regarding stolen squeegees:

At least two other people in this group have favorably mentioned squeegees in the last week or so. They have been called both "ecxiting" and "heart-stopping." I'm not mentioning any names, but they both live in Maine, and certainly within an hour's drive from your place of work. And one of them even has a car.

Did I mention I'm not mentioning any names?

-Anonymous. Damn, that won't work, will it.

::: posted by Jeff at 9:03 PM


 
Perversion for pro...? You mean to say that I can get women to take their clothing off, take pictures, and sell them, and earn a living this way? FUCK CARTOONING, I'm gonna go into porno!

-Matt, why in the hell didn't you tell me sooner?!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:12 PM



Monday, January 20, 2003 :::
 
True, but you missed my more blatant misspelling of "significant", which I spelled "significat."

Matt, touche'.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 8:59 PM



Sunday, January 19, 2003 :::
 
I would just like to say that after subscribing to "Who Cares News" I've lost seventy pounds, with more going every day! To be more specific, I subscribed, and then, upon finding out about all the hidden fees Ben and Nick levy, I refused to pay and told them to fuck off. They responded to my reluctance to pay their fees by locking me in a basement for a month, where I lost my first twenty pounds. In the meantime, they raided the my bank accounts using passwords obtained under torture. After the month passed, I finally died of ammonia poisioning and starvation after subsisting solely on the urine of mice and lemmings in the dirt of the basement floor. After I died, significat weight loss began. I've never been lighter in my life! Thanks Ben and Nick!

And no Ben, you would not have objected.

-Matt, "Harry Potter and the alternate use Hermoine and her supple young friends find for thier wands"

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:12 PM


 
I had a VW Golf a while back which had a wonky rear-windshield squirter too. It pointed over the car in such a way that I could actually wash the front windshield with it if the car was still. If I wanted to wash the rear windshield, I had to be driving backwards at about 90 miles an hour. Or I could just get out and use a squeegee, but that was way less exciting, even though squeegees are exciting.

::: posted by Jeff at 11:11 AM



Saturday, January 18, 2003 :::
 
Actually, now that you've seen it, I think I'll just be getting rid of it now, as that picture does more to repulse me sexually than Bob Dole does. If anybody objects to the pictures removal, then tough shit, sicko.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:44 PM



Thursday, January 16, 2003 :::
 
Yeah, it's like a lacy, partially transparent type of thing consisting of a bra section and a corset section fused together. Sometimes a skirt is attached, too. You would wear lacy panties to complete the outfit. The typical colors are black or red. Like most lengeree, it aparently makes some people horny, but like makeup, high heels, most piercings, shaved legs, and "naughty" underwear, it doesn't do a damned thing for me. Here's a picture:

DELETED
-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:08 PM



Wednesday, January 15, 2003 :::
 
900 pages? Geez, no wonder it's taken her so damned long to write this one. That's the length of all the hitchhiker books combined, for Christ's sake.

-Matt, remember folks, take your umbrellas with you and don't look up, because it's that time of month again: time for defenestrational menstruation.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:50 PM



Tuesday, January 14, 2003 :::
 
And picture the people who work manufacturing them. "Where do you work, Hitoshi?" "Me? I glue erect rubber nipples to scarves all day."

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:53 PM



Monday, January 13, 2003 :::
 
Here (http://www.thismodernworld.com/weblog/images/scarf.jpg) is a link to the nipple scarves in japan that I was describing to Christy yesterday. Disturbing, ain't they?

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:40 PM



Thursday, January 09, 2003 :::
 
I wasn't talking about you. I was, however, wrong, in that it was Jason's, not Ben's post I was referring to. I mistook it for a Ben post, as the style was very Bennish, and there were few spelling errors, which would indicate a Jason post. I apologize for this factual oversight and partially retract my previous statements.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:37 PM


 
I'm not Ben. I'm Jeff.

::: posted by Jeff at 9:25 PM


 
*Takes a deep, appreciative, and unapologetically sadistic bow*

I find it amusing that the two men who started this, Greg and Ben, are the ones who also both ended up proclaiming it as disgusting. But then, even as Ben and Greg are perfectly filthy-minded people in their own right, I've only met one man who can stand up to the horrors dredged up from the bottemless filth-filled gutter that is my dirty mind. Molly and Christy will at least know of whom I speak: Kai Becksvoort, the filthiest man I have ever met. Bless him.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 8:50 PM


 
I must agree with Greg about the repulsive-ness of the...unmentionable posts. Anyhow, I feeel like it's time to post again. I live in Connecticut. In about a week, I won't live in Connecticut any more, possibly ever again. I am not sad about this. Connecticut is populated with what my girlfriend affectionately calls "ignorant materialistic bitches." Of course we generalize (she is from CT herself). But it just ain't Maine. In many ways New York City is more pleasant. Which reminds me, I'm very, very likely moving there in September (after camp of course). Camp! Camp could not arrive soon enough. The latest roster of returning staff includes myself, Daniel, Sean, Meghan, and probably Kelly. Many others are still wallowing in the kiddie-pool of summer options. I expect we'll see a few more from last summer. Of course this will be the big 50th birthday for FC. You all should come to the big party on June 23 at the camp. Details on the website www.friendscamp.org. There should probably be a link for that on this page eh... Maybe someone in charge of that sort of thing will put it where it might go. I stopped by the camp last week to see the progress on the remodeled dining room. It looks fabulous. I know we all loved the old one but this is most definately a change for the better. Ths new windows look fabulous. Bruce has been working hard all winter. Perhaps I'll go help out when I get back to Maine. I forgot to mention that I am moving to Maine. I guess it was sort of implied. Have a nice day.

::: posted by Jeff at 7:33 PM



Tuesday, January 07, 2003 :::
 
You're right, Ben, it is kind of like really small cottage cheese. How do I know? Lets just say there was a time, long ago, when I didn't realize you could , or, more to the point, SHOULD, wash under your foreskin.

Matt, man, I don't want ointment THERE ever again...

::: posted by Comic Tools at 5:13 PM



Monday, January 06, 2003 :::
 
Who says superheroes are dead?

FnOrDy ErIsTiAn: You answered my next question. How clever.
FnOrDy ErIsTiAn: What am I thinking NOW?
FnOrDy ErIsTiAn: I'll give you a hint: sea mammal.
grolby: manatee?
FnOrDy ErIsTiAn: NO! well, yes.
grolby: aha!
FnOrDy ErIsTiAn: Curse you, telepathic boy.
FnOrDy ErIsTiAn: Captain condom can repel raging jets of semen, but cannot block your evil mind-peering rays.

The battle is not over, telepathic boy. I will be back. And now that I know you can tell when penis boy is horny, I'll be even more watchful. Normally you could just tell visually, but penis boy is so long initially that you barely notice the change. He just seems to stand straighter, that's all.

-Captain condom, must...hold...integrity....mustn't...burst!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 9:03 PM


 
I don't know specifically what error 503 is, but a template is blogger's easy-queasy version of the html code for a page. In any web page, you an right click (or on a mac, go to view, I think) And select "view source." This will allow you to see the source code, or HTML, that is that page. I won't explain what HTML is, because I know you know enough about computers to know what it is. You're probably familliar with source code too, I suspect, but I'm just going over that to set you up for explaining the template.

Now, blogger's HTML is stored in a special place in your editing window. If you go to it, you can manually edit the HTML of your blog in any way you wish. Add a picture, add a link, change text, color, spacig, tables, whatever. Blogger makes this almost idiotcially convienient by labelling each section of HTML things like "The title" and "body of post."

Now, when you look at the page source, you'll not only see the template, but you'll see that the posts are also turned into code, and placed in the appropriate place within the basic template code. Think of the template as the blank page, without posts. The post html is added whenever you make a post.

So, whatever a 503 error is, it's something involving the loading of the template code when you make a new post. I don't know what it is or why it happens. So there ya go.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:24 AM



Sunday, January 05, 2003 :::
 
If you can't hump a camera lens and say with a straight face that it's part of your artistic message, you ought not to be making rock. I will grant certain exceptions to this rule, but you'd better have something damned good to compensate for the lack of humping.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 9:19 PM


 
I had never heard of adult rock until now. I thought rock was for teens, or at least teens who grew up. How boring would rock be if made for old people? It would lack energy, libido, and mayhem. It would, in short, suck. Just as you describe it.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 9:16 PM



Friday, January 03, 2003 :::
 
I read Ben's blog, in which he said that he had finally realized she had him totally whipped.

-Matt, yo'sbyes an' havva gooday likkabaggachipsanalldat an' be drivin you bouncin pimpmobile safely, yo. (Translation: Goodbye to you all, and have a good day (untranslatable) and drive safely.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 3:59 PM



Wednesday, January 01, 2003 :::
 
Yeah, and under "subject" I put "That's what I shall attempt to broach gracefully."

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:00 PM

ARCHIVES :::

Ben, Nick, Molly, Matt, Carter, Maria, Christy, Jason, Greg, Eric, and UNCLE JEFF!! We are truly honored to have someone among us who is over 20 and claims to have some sort of responsibility. It won't last long.