Tuesday, December 30, 2003 :::
 
Make sure y'all don't carry around any almanacs.

Also, I'd like to clarify something regerding the unfortunately late Strom Thurmond's actions. (Unfortunate because I'd LUUUUUV to see him squirming about this. Of course, if he was alive, we wouldn't know, because his daughter blackmailed him. But I'm not talking about the daughter. I'm talking about the mother here, the maid hehad sex with to produce the daughter.

Because continuing to support racial segragation while having a half-black child isn't anywhere near the worst thing Strom did.

I read one column that put it kind of like this: "Strom may have wooed the maid with flowers and gifts and promises of better treatment. It's also likely that noneo fo that was neccecary."

Damn right it wasn't neccecary. Slavery was over, but don't forget that lynchings and rapings were very "in" at the time. Her job title may have been "maid", but she was only semantically different from property. Not only would he not have had to woo her, he wouldn't have had to ask twice, because, as the terrified maid would have known all too well, if she turned down sex with him, he could very well have beaten her to death, thrown her broken body off a cliff, and no one, but no one would have uttered a word about it.

The culumnist was too polite and political to come right out and say it: Strom raped her. He was a horny 22 year old southerner, and one day he was jonsing for pussy, saw the maid's big black ass, and decided he wanted to try sticking his cock into some dark meat. Poor woman was probably crying as he impregnated her.

So, in conclusion, I do hope ol' Strom is having a splendid time down in the deepest bowels of hell right now.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:59 PM



Monday, December 29, 2003 :::
 
Just something I thought up:

"How big were this woman's breasts? Well...lemme put it this way. I remember she used to cry a whole lot. The tears would run down her face, down her neck, and down into her cleavege, like a river. The visual effect this produced was not just a little like the looking straight down into the Grand Canyon. Had her breasts been just a little dirtier, it would have been positively indistinguishable from looking down into the Grand Canyon."

::: posted by Comic Tools at 3:53 PM


 
Oh, you'd just LOVE that, wouldn't you?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 3:49 PM



Sunday, December 28, 2003 :::
 
Not if the conversation involves any of us.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 8:32 PM



Saturday, December 27, 2003 :::
 
Can't we just once have a conversation without someone bringing up necrophilia?

::: posted by Carter at 6:08 PM


 
Hey, I just realized, is that a reference to "psycho?" Do you think Norman was boiking his dead mother? Cau'se that would be sick. She was so dry and dessicated in the movie, he'd probably break her doing that. It would be like fucking a box of potpurri.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 5:08 PM


 
Hey Ben, that's the perfect solution for people who want the body and not the mind!

::: posted by Comic Tools at 5:06 PM



Thursday, December 25, 2003 :::
 
FnOrDy ErIsTiAn: I have so much pubic hair, it filters my urine, and it comes out as pure drinking water.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 9:26 PM



Monday, December 22, 2003 :::
 
Saddam: cruel dictator. Killed innocents. Used poision gas on people. May have posessed WMD. May have worked with terrorists.

Our reaction: Bomb them.

Ghadafi: cruel dictator. Killed innocents. Used Poision gas on people. Proudly professes to have WMD. Pretty clearly was involved in exploding of an airplane. Has obvious connections past and present to internatinal terrorism.

Our reaction: we agree to be extorted by this psychopath, agreeing to lift sanctions on his country and remove it from the terrorist nation list if they disarm and pay the families of their victims settlement money.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



::: posted by Comic Tools at 3:12 PM



Friday, December 19, 2003 :::
 
Gropenfurher continues to pillage and destroy the economy and social services of California, referring to it as "doing his job."

http://www.salon.com/news/wire/2003/12/19/fiscal/index.html

And then there's this funny story:

Dec. 19, 2003 | BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (AP) -- A 140-pound rapist met his match in an angry, 275-pound prostitute, police said.

Adrian Castillo Ramirez allegedly tried to sexually assault a 24-year-old Bakersfield prostitute who was nearly twice his weight.

But she took his knife, stripped him naked and paraded him in front of other prostitutes, after asking how many of them had ever been forced into sex at knifepoint. Then she tried to take him -- still naked -- to the police station, reports said.

Jesus, good thing for him he didn't make it to actually penetrating her. She probably would have scissored his tiny meat off with her vice-like labia, then forced him to eat it.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:52 AM



Wednesday, December 17, 2003 :::
 
(Ben: the following would be good whocares material, since you haven't posted there for awhile.)

WHY I NOW LOVE DIANE SAWER:

What follows is an excerpt from a transcript of her recent interview with Bush, and then commentary by me.

And, uh, look --

(Bush’s voice begins to rise)

BUSH: -- There’s no doubt that Saddam Hussein was a dangerous person. And there’s no doubt we had a body of evidence proving that.

And there is no doubt that the president must act, after 9/11, to make America a more secure country.

(Look of self-satisfaction returns.)

SAWYER: Um, again I’m just trying to ask -- and these are supporters, people who believed in the war --

BUSH: Heh-heh-heh.

SAWYER: -- who have asked the question.

BUSH: Well you can keep asking the question, and my answer is going to be the same. Saddam was a danger, and the world is better off because we got rid of him.

(Raised voice cracks a bit on “rid.� A pause, then Bush shoots Sawyer an exasperated look as if to say “Get it?�, though with a bit of a smile.)

SAWYER: But stated as a hard fact, that there were weapons of mass destruction, as opposed to the possibility that he could move to acquire those weapons still --

BUSH: So what’s the difference?

(Smile's gone.)

SAWYER: Well --

BUSH: The possibility that he could acquire weapons. If he were acquire weapons [sic], he would be the danger. That’s the -- that’s what I’m trying to explain to you.

A gathering threat, after 9/11, is a threat that needed to be dealt with.

And it was done after 12 long years of the world saying, “the man’s a danger.� And so, we got rid of him.

And there’s no doubt the world is a safer, freer place as a result of Saddam being gone.

SAWYER: But, but again some, some of the critics have said this, combined with the failure to establish proof of elaborate terrorism contacts, has indicated that there’s just not precision, at best, and misleading, at worst. [sic]

BUSH: Y’know, uh, look (shakes head). What (chuckle) what we based our evidence on was a very sound National Intelligence Estimate.

SAWYER: Nothing should have been more precise?

BUSH: I – I – I – I made my decision based upon enough intelligence to tell me that the country was threatened with Saddam Hussein in power.

SAWYER: What would it take to convince you he didn’t have weapons of mass destruction?

BUSH: Saddam Hussein was a threat. And the fact that he is gone means America is a safer country.

(Pause, as both smile.)

SAWYER: And if he doesn’t have weapons of mass destruction --

BUSH: You can keep asking the question. I’m telling ya, I made the right decision for America.

Because Saddam Hussein used weapons of mass destruction, invaded Kuwait.

But the fact that he is not there, is uh, means America is a more secure country.


Wow. I didn't provide the whole transcript, but basically, it only took him about thirty seconds to completely crumble to this level under Diane's questioning. Seriously, he had no rehearsed defense, he had no viable talking points, he had nothing to defend himself with except an annoyed, ever-more-desperate "Look, I was right. Period." I REALLY hope Dean gets nominated, not just because he's my favored candidate, but also because if he gets into a debate with Bush, from what I've seen here, Bush will be a defenseless little bug under Dean's boot of truth.

Incidentally, John Glenn and Dean both said Bush was full of shit about America being more secure after Saddam's capture. Following that, Liberman issued a statement saying Dean was full of shit for saying that.

Ahh, the sweet bickering of election year candidates.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 5:25 PM



Tuesday, December 16, 2003 :::
 
I'd comment on Saddam, but everyone already knows he was caught, and that he looks totally discombobulated in the pictures, kinda like his old buddy Reagan. But there's a more important story you should all be aware of. If you haven't heard what went down in Maiami, you should.

A globalization protest was held there recently. The protest had about 10,000 in attendance, mostly senior citezens and union members. There were young people, too, of course. Like always, a few people threw some stuff at officers. Hospital says 3 officers got minor injuries, police say eighteen. Whatever. That really doesn't matter, given the severity of their response. Over 2000 police, arrayed in full battle armor, carrying shields and baseball bats, and armed with the latest in crowd control technology, marched into the crowd and started beating, shooting, pepper-spraying, and cuffing people indscriminately. In the comic Transmetropolitain, where the police are a private army for the corrupt president, there's a scene where they decend on a section of the city to beat and kill descenters. In that scene, the cops beat a rhythmic jungle beat on their shields with their truncheons as they advanced. It's an errie paralell that the police in Miami did just that as they advanced on the crowds. When people tried to run away, the police chased them for blocks, firing a hail or welt-raising rubber bullets at a terrified mixture of kids and old people. They beat anyone to the ground who was too slow to get out of the way of their bats. They walked into an auditorium where several of the older protesters too weak or too disinclined to participate in the actual march had gathered, and they maced old people in the face and beat them to the ground. Also caught in the indiscriminate mass-arrests were medics and journalists. The police had been briefed that these people were there to help the anarchists, and therefore should be arrested. Reporters who were not embedded with the police had their credentials ignored, their press passes thrown to the ground or torn up as they were stuffed into cop cars. One journalist, asking a poiliceman to please check her press pass to prove she was ligit, was told to "shut the fuck up." Several women journalists were strip-searched in front of leering male officers, then put in jail.

The leader of a senior citezen's protest group had this story to report:

After being held up by police for literally miles in attempts to get to the event his group finally made it. As they were getting off the bus, a line of police, guns drawn (real guns, not non-leathal) told them to get on the fucking ground. The leader was helping an old man get off the bus.

"He's a 71-year-old man and I'm wearing my orange vest and credentials. I said, 'He's a retiree and I'm trying to help him get to his bus.' We each had three or four guns on us telling us to get down, facedown in the dirt. Ben didn't get down fast enough and he got a knee in his back."


Hands cuffed behind them, they were put on a bus and left for three hours, then driven to a parking garage where FTAA prisoners were being held in wire pens. "I've worked with livestock before, and these were like stock pens," said Killmon.


In the pen with him, says Killmon, was a steelworker named Rick who had a bad shoulder, the result of an injury he'd sustained falling off a roof. "His hands being handcuffed behind his back was extremely painful," Killmon says. "He kept asking to be released so he could bring his hands around in front of him, and they would not do it. The pain got to the point that he lost control of his bowels and urinary tract."

"He'd asked at least two dozen different officers for help," says Winawer.

After another three hours, they were taken to Miami's TGK jail, where they were processed and put in holding cells. It was after 3 a.m. before either was allowed to make phone calls. Killmon says he went at least seven hours without a sip of water.

On Friday, the charges against Killmon were dropped. Winawer was charged with disobeying a police officer. They weren't released until early evening.

Both were in handcuffs for between 11 and 12 hours. Three weeks later, Winawer's hands were still bruised and partly numb. Killmon says he's fine as long as he doesn't try to lift his left arm higher than his shoulder.

Almost all charges by the police ended up being dropped as bogus, actually. But that doesn't change the fact that people were groundlessly arrested, and it doesn't excuse the injuries people suffered being arrested. One medic said later that he treated several dozen people for head wounds and wounds over the kidneys, liver and spleen, caused by rubber bullets and baseball bat hits. One woman's entire right breast turned purple black after a rubber bullet was fired at point-blank range into her chest. Protesters being taken to jail reeked so badly from pepper spray that they had to be showered and their clothes discarded before officers could handle them.

While stories about the FTAA protests proliferate, the Miami police are showing no signs of remorse. In their view, even peaceful protesters had it coming for cavorting with anarchists.

"Peaceful protesters in some cases made friends with the devil, knowing full well they were anarchists," says Lt. Schwartz. "If someone says, 'I came down to protest peacefully but yes, I'm aware there are anarchists in my group and I welcomed them in,' they're certainly putting themselves in an awkward position. If anarchists are starting to cause problems and throw things at cops, just because I'm a peaceful protester, but I'm standing right next to this anarchist, that I couldn't be subject to police enforcement, I think that's naive. "

So that's America now, folks. If your grandma walks outside and says she don't like globalization, she gets pepper-sprayed in the face. And if you're a journalist who isn't with the police (and don't try to tell me reporters aren't going to do biased reporting about officers beating up other journalists, out of fear for their safety.), then you get beat down for doing your constitutionally protected job, and if you're a woman, you get to have male officers strip you and stare at your tits and comment on your pubic hairstyle.

It seems that Miami has supplanted the LAPD for the most senselessly brutal group of PIGS in law enforcement. I find their actions unconscionable, and their lack of guilt terrifying. Every single member of the Miami police department who isn't , at this moment, resigning out of either disgust or guilt, can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned. They should all be wearing their prison uniforms, not a badge.





::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:33 PM



Sunday, December 14, 2003 :::
 
I vow to not be the first one to bring up the whole Saddam thing. Oops.

::: posted by Jeff at 6:23 PM



Friday, December 12, 2003 :::
 
hello. Regarding the elderly and their vehicle/weapons:

OK, so I agree that it is incredibly unsafe for some elderly folks who no longer have all their senses fully intact to be driving about. But how can you possibly expect them to function in a place created primarily for cars? The fact that most cities nowadays are built for the car is no secret. Until public transportation is as reliable and comfortable as a car is, it will be tricky to pry the keys out of their wrinkly little hands.

In fact, earlier in the century, when automobiles were actually competing with trains, Ford actually bought out a number of train lines and shut them down, so's they could get people to rely on the product that they happened to make..and sell...and make a lot of dollars from...

So cars aare great is you can A) afford one, B) afford to keep one (gas, insurance, maintenance) C) operate one (16-18 years old +, all senses intact), D) have a place to keep it, E) find room on the crowded streets to actually drive it to where you need to go, and F) don't mind the pollution factor. This eliminates a lot of people, but they are poor anyway, so what do the car makers care? Right. Not at all.

Support public transportation!

soapbox out.

::: posted by Jeff at 3:50 PM


 
Christy: still looking. It's a hard question to research.

This really has nothing to do with anything, but I just thought the progression of this article was really funny, with the way the pictures were used. Synopsis: "Communists are as bad as Nazis, and anyone who supports them is as bad as a nazi supporter! Also, I really like these Iraqi protesters here! Why won't the damn liveral media cover these good people! Look at them, waving flags...red flags...wait a second... what's on those flags...oh dear."

http://shock-awe.info/archive/001213.php

also, I have two gripes I've been thinking about lately:

One is the republican argument that global warming and second hand smoke dangers are junk science, and yet, we need to teach creationism in schools. (And, incidentally, if you were still under the impression that the concept of evolution is still a theory, you really haven't been paying attention for the last year or so in biological science. This month's discover magazine, for one, has two nice, if succinct, examples of what I'm talking about.)

The other is the media's terminology regarding the insurgent fighters in Iraq, in calling them "terrorists." By MY definition, a terrorist is someone who threatens or kills civillians to make a government bend to their agenda. (The aganda has to be political somehow, for me. If your reasons are monetary, then you're a criminal, and if you have no reason, you're a sick evil fuck.) But hitting military targets isn't, in my book, terrorism. And don't give me this shit about how it's different because they sneak up on us, or use traps. Do we fucking warn someone before we drop a bomb on them from a stealth plane? Aren't we the only weatern nation to refuse to ban land mine use? Planting bombs in roadkill for tanks to run over is dirty pool, to be sure, but it doesn't qualify as terrorism.

Also, let it be known that I return to Maine this Thursday.



::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:55 PM



Thursday, December 11, 2003 :::
 
Cut your weiner into interesting shapes: http://www.sub.nipponham.co.jp/winny/kazari/ Man, do I love the Japaneese.

And this is just complete bullshit:

Just weeks after vowing to investigate allegations of sexual harassment against him, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has changed his mind, saying it's "time to move on.''

More than a dozen allegations of harassment and groping surfaced against the movie-star-turned-politician in the last days of the recall campaign, prompting Schwarzenegger to acknowledge that he had sometimes "behaved badly'' on "rowdy movie sets.'' He apologized to anyone he may have offended, a mea culpa his communications director reiterated Monday.

"The governor, after consulting with legal counsel and advisers, has determined that an investigation would be rather pointless given the political nature that this has taken on,'' said Rob Stutzman, Schwarzenegger's communications director. "The Los Angeles District Attorney's Office has said it has no investigation and no complaint on which to act. And so, the governor has concluded, as we believe most Californians have, that it's simply time to move on so he can focus entirely on the job Californians sent him here to do. He remains sincere in his apology to anyone he has offended.''

Okay, so this is how things work in Arnold's world: you do something which would normally have consequences in this world, like, say, walking up to a woman and massaging her nipples. Then time passes. You run for office. Allegations arise, politically damaging allegations. Oh my, what do you do? Why, you take those problems, and put them in this magical other dimension called "the past", where they will never ever come back to bother anyone again. Then you say "I'm sowee."

"Hey, Matt, you just killed an old woman by beating her to death with a kitten!" " Oh my, that's bad, isn't it? Wait a moment while I send that INTO THE PAST. There, it's behind me now." "Oh well, I guess I can't arrest you now." "If it makes you feel better, I sincerely apologize."

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:33 AM



Wednesday, December 10, 2003 :::
 
WASHINGTON, Dec. 9 — Three retired military officers, two generals and an admiral who have been among the most senior uniformed officers to criticize the "don't ask, don't tell" policy for homosexuals in the military, disclosed on Tuesday that they are gay.
The three, Brig. Gen. Keith H. Kerr and Brig. Gen. Virgil A. Richard, both of the Army, and Rear Adm. Alan M. Steinman of the Coast Guard, said the policy had been ineffective and undermined the military's core values: truth, honor, dignity, respect and integrity.
They said they had been forced to lie to their friends, family and colleagues to serve their country. In doing so, they said, they had to evade and deceive others about a natural part of their identity.
The officers said that they were the first generals and admiral to come out publicly and that they hoped that others would follow.

Allow me to translate that for the Louisianians, at least the ones who can read with only limited assistance: you are free because of queers. Understand, you toothless eaters of pig's feet?

And speaking of the military, do we really want our uniforms to look like stromtrooper uniforms from "Star Wars?"

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/031207/photos_ts_afp/031207214302_4o43xni1_photo0

Seriously, go look at that. They even made the eye shield red, for fuck's sake. What's next, Bush falls into Lava, has body replaced with machinery and wears a black life support suit that gives him the voice of James Earl Jones when he talks?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:19 PM



Monday, December 08, 2003 :::
 
BAGHDAD, Iraq - On its corporate Web site, under a page titled "A Fresh Start for Iraqi School Children," Bechtel Group showcases sparkling new classrooms filled with happy, young Iraqi students.

But the reality is far different, according to Army investigators.

"In almost every case, the paint jobs were done in a hurry, causing more damage to the appearance of the school than in terms of providing a finish that will protect the structure," a recent Army investigation into Bechtel's work found. "In one case, the paint job actually damaged critical lab equipment, making it unusable."

...

During repairs, "reports started coming in about poor quality," said 422nd Civil Affairs Battalion Maj. Linda Scharf, who was responsible for the schools in question, and who started fielding calls from concerned teachers and headmasters.

"So I asked one of my teams to go verify the rumors," Scharf said. "They took their digital camera, and the reality turned out to be worse than the rumors."

What they found: The subcontractors Bechtel hired left paint everywhere - on the floors, on desks, all over windows. The classrooms were filthy, the school's desks and chairs were thrown out into the playground and left, broken. Windows were left damaged, and bathrooms that were reportedly fixed were left in broken, unsanitary condition.

"Would you allow your child to use that bathroom? I wouldn't," Scharf said, pointing to a photograph of a stained, broken hole in a dirty, tiled stall.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:37 PM


 

People are making a stink about Kerry saying "fuck" in a Rolling Stone interview. I think that's actually a good thing- shows he's human under those bull-dog jowls and that Herman Munster build. But also, allow me to refresh people's memories:


Fuck Saddam. We're taking him out.
-George W. Bush, March 2002, as reported in Time.




You no-good fucking son of a bitch, I will never fucking forget what you wrote.
-George W. Bush, to journalist Al Hunt in front of his 4-year old daugher, 1987.



"Pussy."
-George W. Bush, 1988, in response to a question about what he and his father are talking about when they're not talking politics.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:15 AM



Friday, December 05, 2003 :::
 
Lafayette Parish's school superintendent Wednesday said there would be no apology over an incident in which a lesbian mother says he son was disciplined for saying he has has a gay mom.
"An apology is not due," Superintendent James Easton said. "The child was not singled out because his parent is gay." Easton said the grade two student was disciplined for behavior problems.
Sharon Huff says her son Marcus McLaurin was reprimanded and forced to repeatedly write “I will never use the word ‘gay’ in school again.”

The child was not singled out because his parents were gay? How do they figure that? Perhaps they mean to say that they punnish all the children of gay parents, uniformly, and not just him? Goddamned rotten boggot assholes...her's an article I'D like to see:

(you'll like this, Ben.)

New York state- Public school 61 has come under fire recently for what the ACLU says is discrimination against a child because his parents are stupid goddamned Louisianians. According to the ACLU's court brief, the child told a friend of his in class that his mother and father were from Louisiana. "What does that mean?", the other child asked. "It means my mommy and daddy are stupid, bigoted asshole religious zealots with the values and reeking body odor of a hog farmer from the middle ages."

A teacher overheard the conversation, and promptly reprimanded the student for using the word "Louisiana" in the classroom. The child was then forced to attend school early for behavior modification sesstions, where he wrote "I will not use the word 'Louisiana' again" one thousand times on a blackboard. He was also forced to sign a contract stating that he would never use the word again. In one section of the contract, in response to the question "What should you have done instead?", the student wrote "Kep my mouf shut."

The ACLU is accusing the school of discrimination, but the school holds that it never discriminated against the student for his parent's Louisianian origins. "We were merely attempting to dicipline a disruptive student. There was no dsicrimination against strupid, ugly, pig-shit stinking Louisianians at all."

The parents were shocked at the news. "We thought our child had said the 'f ' word or soemthing. Imagine our surprise when we heard that the 'bad word' our child had said, that was so bad the principal wouldn't repeat it on the phone to us, was our home state!" The perents then proceeded to eat their dinner of watermelon, fried chicken, and roasted negro.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:33 AM



Wednesday, December 03, 2003 :::
 
I had an HP spit ink all over my dorm room when i was a sophomore at UConn.

::: posted by Jeff at 10:51 PM


 
A newspaper prints a letter calling for the death of war protesters.


I am a United States sailor. I have chosen to defend my country and the freedom some take for granted.
I love my country, my family, my freedom. Only by the blood which was shed by the service members before me did we receive this freedom.
There are some, though, who do not appreciate this freedom. I call these people traitors; they call themselves protesters. They are nothing more than an infectious disease that infests the minds and hearts of the Americans we are defending. It consumes the honor and courage within its host until it kills the very patriotism that made this country.
There is no cure for this disease. Never will everyone be satisfied. But let it be known what this guardian of America's freedom thinks of these protesters: Traitors should be hanged. I hold our enemies in higher standing. At least they are willing to fight for their beliefs and the country they love.
Sonar Technician
Derik L.Jobe
U.S. Navy

Uh huh. So, lemme get this straight now...he's fighting for freedom, but believes people who excercise that freedom should be hanged. Furthermore, he holds fanatical islamists who kill innocent men, women, and children without warning in higher stead than people who gather in peaceful groups to hold up signs and express concern that their government is acting immorally.

Under his definition of freedom, exactly what can I do freely? Obviously I can't say or write what I want. Obviously I can't gather in groups with like-minded people. Obviously I'm obligated to serve purposes or causes I might not support.

So if that's his definition of freedom, what in the hell does he think tyranny is?

I'm also inclined to wonder what he would have thought about people protesting Clinton. Would his *cough* enthusiastic zeal in dealing with protesters apply to people protesting a president he didn't agree with? Do his morals shift with the views of every new president, or do they only apply when he agrees with the president? And is he even aware that we HAVE two other branches of government?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:35 PM



Monday, December 01, 2003 :::
 
I want the world to know how much I hate this printer.
--------------read my updated review of my Epson Stylus Photo 820 Printer!
Available soon on Amazon.com.

One out of Five Stars "Pure Junk"
Reviewer: Jeff Adelberg from Boston, MA
To say that I HATE this printer would be an understatement.

1. I have had it for a year and a few months, and it has yet to print an acceptable photograph, despite hours of tweaking the very tweak-able settings.

2. INK DRINKER. The cartridges may look cheaper than HP, but do not be fooled...they last only for a few pages, and seem to...evaporate? over time if not used.

3. CLOGGED! If you leave it for a few days, it will not print legibly and the nozzles must complete a cleaning routine, which is slow, and uses up the aforementioned expensive ink. (I used an entire color cartridge just doing this every week or so.)

4. If you use the USB cable, the printer's own vibrations interrupt the signal and it quits printing halfway through a job.

5. If you call Epson, they will not answer your questions until you pay them ten bucks on your credit card.

6. Mine stopped working entirely today, although it was still able to do self-tests and nozzle-checks and stuff. I replaced the parallel cable. Still not working. Plugged in the old HP printer...works on the first try.

Printing should not be this frustrating. Although I just spent another $45 on cartridges, I have no qualms with throwing this waste of plastic out my 4th-story window right now. I intend to laugh merrily as it hits the pavement below and shatters into a million pieces. Rarely does such destruction satisfy this pacifist.

This is a link to my Amazon Reviews, of which there are 4.

::: posted by Jeff at 11:26 PM


 
It seems that some of the detainees at Guantanamo have been found to be kidnapping victims. In it's rush to gobble up anyone al Quaida in Ahfganistan, we paid off warlords to deliver terrorists. It seems that the warlords frequently kidnapped people right out of their homes and gave them to us as terrorists. We then shipped them off to Guantanamo to live in cages outdoors with no acess to a lawer, no way to contact their families, and no hope of trial. How many people did this happen to? Accodring to the army, about 20% of the prisoners.

The government will be releasing them, it says, at some nearby date when it will be "politically perpetuitous" to do so.

Oh, and here's something funny to wash that down with:

"You know, some research says that those who are the most homophobic are the most likely to actually BE homosexuals. So what does that say about President George Bush? Well, we don't know if the Prez might hiding out with the queers in secret, but we do know his daughter isn't shy about hanging out with them in public. Bush's daughter Barbara was spotted recently having a gay old time at a concert by all-gay punk band Pansy Division. Barbara and friends cozied up in the back room drinking, while out front the band screamed their queer hearts out. The band reportedly dedicated their rabid anti-Bush song, Political Asshole, to the first daughter during the show. Daddy's just got to love that. "

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:20 PM

ARCHIVES :::

Ben, Nick, Molly, Matt, Carter, Maria, Christy, Jason, Greg, Eric, and UNCLE JEFF!! We are truly honored to have someone among us who is over 20 and claims to have some sort of responsibility. It won't last long.