Monday, March 31, 2003 :::
 
I've sent Ben my letter to Joshua Farber regarding the cause of the war. You'll find it soon at whocaresnews.blogspot.com.

You are 44% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:39 PM


 
Donald: We don't need any actual military power in the region! We'll wave the gigantic, godlike dick of the airforce over Iraq, and the iraqis will either cower in fear or defect immidiately. In two days, the war will be over!

Highly trained expert general: No, we need ground dicks too, or it won't work! I'm an expert and you're a civillian! Listen to me, for God's sake!

Donald: *fingers in ears* La la la la la la!

(two days later)

Highly trained expert general: Our air dick has run out of tomahawk semen and the Iraqia are still holding strong! Worse, many units on the ground are cut off from the testes,and their only hope is to keep shooting blanks at the enemy until the vasdeferens can catch up!

Donald: You mean our dick is on the ground, helpless and impotent? Why must everything be a metaphor for my love life?!

Okay now, seriously. The CIa told him it was a bad idea to go at all, and the army told him he needed to wait and be better armed. But Donald and his CIVILLIAN team of advisors convinced the president to go to war with battle plans they made up. People MY OWN AGE are in danger for their lives because of this asshole and his bumbling attempts at world domination. Every kid that dies in this is his fucking fault. His arrogance and stubborness have KILLED American children. Killed his own people. Sound familliar? Maybe some bad habits rubbed off on Rummy when he was working with Saddam in the eighties.

People scoff sometimes when I compare Bush and Rumsfeld to knife murderers and gang murderers and other scum who take human life without remorse. They're right; he's worse. People like Rumsfeld kill on a scale a Crips member could only dream of. And he'll never have a drp of dirt or blood on his hands, save in a metaphorical sense. I don't understand how a person like Rumsfeld can wake up in the morning, think about what they do during the day, and not immidiately step into a bath with razor blade wounds in their wrists.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:18 PM



Friday, March 28, 2003 :::
 
I cannot offer any movie opinions, as I'm just too far out of the mindset.
I can, however, offer this as proof of my continued existence.
Saw the oscars, through the miracle of wowow. Happy that Spirited Away won. Pissed that it was nominated in the same category as "Treasure Planet".

That is all.

-Carter, GO2 ORION FUCKIN' TAMALA

::: posted by Carter at 12:29 AM



Thursday, March 27, 2003 :::
 
Yes, Jeff, Kudos on your bouncing baby site! One thing, though, the "more more more" button in the friend's camp page wouldn't work.

To Maria, yeah, it was just a random thought. I passed by one on the way home yesterday and I felt like posting on it.

I should see that. I like Bjork.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:48 AM



Wednesday, March 26, 2003 :::
 
Let me point out also: the recent trend in musicals is to make fun of themselves. The theater world is now very aware of the ridiculousness of bursting into song, and a few recent productions have taken advantage of the humor we now find in the musical conventions. Examples include The Producers (on Broadway--the movie is very different) or Urinetown. The latter is one of the best productions I have ever seen in my life and if any of you are anywhere near New York City, please go see it before it closes...it is hilarious. And any of you who are versed at all in musicals will find dozens of references to classics like Les Miz, Fiddler on the Roof, JC Superstar, etc etc. If you aren't familiar, you will likely laugh your ass off anyway.

Also, I think a successful musical can have any actor burst into song at any time in any place and have it feel seamless. To me, Chicago achieved this--the music evokes the mood of the hot tempers and unashamed, competing egos--it's not about a courtroom scene, but about these juicy characters. I'm not trying to make anybody love this show, but that is what I saw. Look at West Side Story, when the shop owner begins a heartfelt number sometime in act II when one expects the scene might end. I wish I could remember the song now. It was one of the most moving moments in a musical I ever experienced.

::: posted by Jeff at 8:50 PM


 
Apparently they got "gentleman's" cabaret clubs. Getting an erection watching a dancing girl in a room full of other men who all have erections too. Doesn't sound very "gentlemanly" to me.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:04 PM


 
I've been working on my site for a couple days now. Have a look-see. By tomorrow sometime it should be at www.bloxpaq.com. Carter, Maria, Molly, Christy, Ben, etc, you will see many people you know, including yourselves. The rest of you, well, look anyway. It will make me happy. I would love any comments...this has been a couple years in the making. Obviously, the site is nowhere near complete but most of the camp stuff is.

Agreed--Fiddler is fantastic on both stage and film. And I have to correct myself--I was, in fact referring to Fellowship, and I must admit I did not bother seeing Two Towers because of my experience with the first one. So I could use some enlightenment here. Please, help me out.

::: posted by Jeff at 1:47 AM



Tuesday, March 25, 2003 :::
 
I thought the Rocky Horror Picture Show translated well to the silver screen, on the topic of musicals turning into movies.

And now for something completely different:

We all joke about it, but really, why is Michelangelo's David's penis so small and his hands and head so big? Well, the penis was small because Michelangelo based his sculpture off of greek sculpture, and to the greeks, big dong equaled small brain. Kind of a male bimbo thing, the equivalent of how men think of women who look like Pamela Anderson. In fact, in greek plays, actors would strap enourmous dildos on and waddle about the stage, acting stupid and bobbing their phalli, to the uproarous laughter of the crowd. As for the hands and head, David was originally meant to be seen from fifty feet in the air, so Michelangelo exaggerated those important, expressive parts to compensate for the distance.

We do learn stuff in Art history, but it's mostly about penises.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:23 PM


 
And Rumsfeld is a twit-

Rumsfeld was never in the military, knows nothing about the military, but still feels like he can run the military right over the objectons of generals. Looks like in Iraq, he's screwed up.

"Intelligence officials say Rumsfeld, his deputy Paul Wolfowitz and other Pentagon civilians ignored much of the advice of the Central Intelligence Agency and the Defense Intelligence Agency in favor of reports from the Iraqi opposition and from Israeli sources that predicted an immediate uprising against Saddam once the Americans attacked."

Yeah, that'll work! WE bomb them and they rise up against Saddam! Just like the sanctions on food and medical supplies, right? Sure, nothing happened for twelve years, but I'm sure EVENTUALLY they would have risen up against him! Are these people fucking stupid? (don't answer that, it was rhetorical.)

So now, because Rumsfeld ignored generals and committed too small a ground force to the region, the air plan is failing and troops on the ground do not have the means to fully repel Iraqi targets. Because of Rumsfeld's incompetence, our young people's lives are at more risk. After asking for this war for six years now, he gets it and fucks it up. Rumsfeld is such a wanking idiot. Or, as one senior administration official put it : "'Shock and Awe' is Air Force bull---!"




::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:16 PM


 
Shit shit shit. If you haven't flown recently, then you may not be aware of the new way you check in. It used to be that you'd go th the table, show your ID, and the person would call up your flight reservation using your name. Now you insert your credit card into a machine, it reads it, and prints your boarding pass. I wondered "why the change? Why switch to credit card?" Then I read this a minute ago while on my usual news sweep:

Stasys Tamulevicius, my great-uncle, perhaps lacked the gene for political timing. A fatalist, he stayed on in Lithuania through the darkness of Soviet rule. In his day, the authorities kept a file on everyone -- following not just their political activities but also the most banal details of one's life, whatever they could get from neighbors or co-workers. It's hard not to think of him when I read about the Office of Information Awareness and its plan for a centralized database that would make a dragnet through all Americans as easy as a Google search. This kind of technology is already being used to screen passengers on Delta Airlines, which, in cooperation with the new Transportation Security Agency, checks passenger credit records and other seemingly irrelevant data prior to letting them fly.

Did you hear that? They scan all citezen's credit reccords along with tracking when and where they fly. I'm fucking scared. I mean it.

Oh, and by the way, the entire Arab league, except Kuwait, has demanded the immidiate and unconditional withdrawl of US and British forces from Iraq. They said that if Iraq went down, they all would go down. Kuwait, by the way, dissented only because there was no mention of the ten "precision guided" missles that have landed in it's territory in the document.




::: posted by Comic Tools at 12:58 PM


 
If ya want a counterpoint:
I loved CHICAGO. I usually hate movies where there are no lovable characters and you want everyone to just go away. But I found enough to care about to get really hooked into this one. Also, the script in the movie has been completely re-written from the musical (written in the 1970s) which was completely re-written from the play (1930s). I haven't seen the play, which hasn't been produced in years since there is a perfectly good musical any theater could produce instead and make way more money (musicals = bring the whole family!) but I have seen the revival of the musical on Broadway and I can assure you it is entirely different (and a great show). It's true that musicals rarely do well when adapted into movies, so I'm glad this production has opened up the possibbility that a musical can be well done and make money and win awards, so that maybe Hollywood will take a few more risks like this. Anyhow, I enjoyed the plot of the murderesses competing for attention among the low-life lawyer and matron etc etc. I loved the theatricality of the film that we are starting to see more and more out of Hollywood. Film will never replace live theater, or vice versa, but when they take risks like this, I feel strongly that it is important to recognize and respect those risks, love or hate the material.

Also, I'm probably going to get beat up by perfectly non-violent people for saying this, but Lord of the Rings bored me to tears. Apologies to, like, everyone on the planet.

::: posted by Jeff at 10:44 AM



Monday, March 24, 2003 :::
 
And now, your semi-daily dose of occasionally humorous war news from home and abroad:

In Oregon, the legislature wants to label protestors terrorists.

SALEM -- The harshest critics of the war protests in downtown Portland angrily called the demonstrators "terrorists" and wished aloud that the police and courts would treat them as such.

This morning, that idea gets put to the test at the Oregon Legislature, where a ranking senator has introduced a bill to "create the crime of terrorism" and apply it to people who intentionally cause injury while disrupting commerce or traffic.

If convicted, they would face imprisonment for life.

I shit you not, they wanna make rambunxious protesters "terrorists" and lock them up for life. Pardon me, Al Quaida? If it's not too much trouble, could you stage your next attack against the ignorant assholes in the shithole town of Salem, Oregon? Sounds like a town's genepool needs cleaning.

Next up, Iraqis are divided heavily over the war. Some are willing to risk death and loss to get rid of Saddam, but as you'll see from the links I've provided below, others are just as scared of the Americans, if not more. City residents are especially against the attacks, where civillian casualties have been highest so far.
http://www.thismodernworld.com/weblog/mtarchives/week_2003_03_23.html#000361
http://www.thismodernworld.com/weblog/mtarchives/week_2003_03_23.html#000354


At Jubilee Christian Center, a large Pentecostal church in San Jose, many congregants have children in the military.
"Most evangelicals -- Baptists and Pentecostals -- are lining up behind President Bush," said Jubilee Pastor Dick Bernal.
"Jesus did not come to bring peace on Earth. I don't agree with those clergy who say Jesus would be marching for peace. Jesus said he did not come to bring peace, but a sword. Jesus brings peace to the individual heart amid war and pestilence and famine."

Wow. As one commentor said, "Lord, deliver me from your followers."

Here's a funny column by a black man who was investigating a suspicious box near the jefferson memorial, just like signs nearby said to do. A woman heard him asking questions, thought he was a terrorist, and he was detained for questiong by eight officers. It all ended happily, though, so go read it for a lighthearted scare.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A16791-2003Mar23.htm

And finally, reporters are happy to say that our soldiers are being greeted with "thumbs up" as the roll into Iraqi towns. I'm not sure they understand- see, that would be fine in America, but in the Arab world, a thumbs up sign is roughly equivalent to "fuck you." I want to emphasize again, though, Iraqis are heavily divided about the war. I don't mean to say that all Iraqis feel one way or another. I'm just saying that we don't have resounding support. We should keep this in mind, because after we liberate them, Iraqis are gonna start asking "When are you leaving?" And if the answer isn't "soon", which it sin't expected to be, than "When are you leaving" will turn into "Leave." And then "Leave, or I'll activate the explosives on my chest in a major city."

l

::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:15 PM



Friday, March 21, 2003 :::
 
I saw this on Atrios' site:The Onion describes itself as "America's finest news source," and it's not an idle boast. On Jan. 18, 2001, the satirical weekly bore the headline "Bush: Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over," followed by this mock quotation: "We must squander our nation's hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it."

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

Full story here. Jesus Christ, those folks at the Onion are fuckin' prophets, man.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 10:21 PM



Thursday, March 20, 2003 :::
 
Alot of bloggers are referring to the constant shots of explosions as "war porn." I giggled, as this of course reminded me of my observation that the military experts were absolutely jacking off while presenting their new missles on the news. But the more I think about it, the more appropriate the term is. In porn, they just show the main action, the sex. Focus on the exciting. But they don't show shots of venerial disease.(except in really sick porn.) They don't show people's lives being thrown into disarray by prenancy. They don't show back alley abortions. They just show the exciting event, and none of the potential consequences.

Same with war footage. They show the pretty explosion. But the cameras stay well away from the scene of sceraming people, burnt bodies, medics scrambling to save the wounded and dying, and all that other icky stuff Americans might not want to see.

The networks all seem to have the same setup of three kinds of coverage, which they cycle through ceaselessly. First, they have a series of reporters repeat fifteen times each all of the information they can't confirm, don't know, or are conjecturing. Then the militatry expert shows up and whips out his new bombs for a bit of artillery exhibitionism. Then they show the same two or three shots of the bombs reaching climax in a crowded neighborhood. Back to the reporters, who tell us what they don't know again, and so on.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:37 PM


 
Mr Perkins sent me this joke. Enjoy.

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
 
"Emma come first.  Den I come.  Den two asses come together.  I come once-a-more.  Two asses, they come together again.  I come again and pee twice.  Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly." In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."


::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:00 PM


 
Wow! A post from Carter! I do a happy monkey dance in celebration of this most joyous and welcome correspondence from our friend abroad!

This is an excerpt from my blog, in case people got too depressed with the unhappy part to get to this paragraph:

On the humorous side of the war, did you notice that he instant bombs started fallinjg, the networks all had these really cool video game-like battle animations and pictures of all the weapons? God, this must be great for the news networks- it's like a video game and a reality TV show and an action movie all in one. Plus, they had military experts on every network explaining all the ways the different weapons kill people. There was one guy on NBC who actually came every time he talked about a missle the millitary had developed. "This one can punch through 20 feet of concrete! *splat* And this one burns the enemy's eyes and rapes their daughters! *splat splat* And this new MOAB actually makes a mushroom cloud! Oh yeah! yes! Yes! yes! America baby! *splat splatsplatsplat!*

Whee! if there's anything the media has taught me, it's that war is fun and exciting! And really, really phallic. The MOAB may as well be a dildo. "explodes, for women who like it rough."

-Matt

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:51 AM



Wednesday, March 19, 2003 :::
 
You Go To War, I'll Go Look At The Cherry Blossoms
AKA
Can Everyone Lighten Up, Just For A Minute?
Or
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Jackass in the White House

Good morning from the far east. Notice how I say that, despite the fact that it's neither morning nor good.
I hear there's a war starting. Act surprised. I'd be lying if I said that it's entirely coincidental that I'm out of the country right now. I've noticed a few interesting things while on my little excursion, though.

First off, people here don't think that our Fearless Leader is stupid. They think he's crazy. This, I think, is mostly due to the fact that translation hides a multitude of sins. There is no Japanese word for "strategery" or "subliminable". Also, within the Japanese alphabet, there can be no real distinction made between "Nuclear" and "Nucular". Because of this, I can't help but wonder. Is there a possibility that other crazed dictators around the world also simply have the IQ of a carrot and we have no way to know? Is Kim Jong Il constantly misusing the Korean language and no one is telling us? It's not as if any of Shrub's flubs make it into international news. Yes, kids, the world population of upper-ranking imbeciles may actually be higher than we originally thought. For some reason, though, this idea actually makes me feel better.

Which brings me to my second point. They have actual news here. Not, "Your children may already have been eaten by clowns, details at eleven, yay (fnord) government." kind of news. Actual NEWS. It's fucking weird.

Third, the peace movement is huge here. The government will consistently march lockstep with Captain Cowboy, since they have learned that nothing good comes of telling the US to fuck off, but the actual populace here is polling at more than 80% opposed to war. I've been to two rallies and a march thus far, although in all honesty I wound up as part of the march by accident when I was walking out of an automat.

Politics aside, life is good here. I'm living in a guest house with some very strange people. Genetically speaking, we have a true melting pot going on. My final geopolitical bullet point would have to be that Holland rocks. Period.

Much to my surprise, I seem to be able to speak Japanese. It's very odd. I have also stopped walking into people and falling over all the time. Mostly.
You can expect a full report when I get back, but for now I have to go, the sumo tournament will be starting again soon.

-Carter, my money is on the THIN guy.

::: posted by Carter at 3:27 AM



Tuesday, March 18, 2003 :::
 
To begin, an interesting tidbit from southknoxbubba.net. I've included a comment that I liked.

You remember the old joke: How do you tell when Bush is lying? His lips are moving. Well, that's not entirely fair. Sometimes he tells the truth. But sometimes it's hard to tell.
I just caught a few seconds of a speech he was giving, and he said something to the effect that "I can assure you that the FBI's top priority is fighting terrorism".
Then I noticed it: Bush has a "tell".
A "tell" is a gesture, expression, or affectation that gives away the fact that the speaker is lying. I'm told that it's very useful in poker as a way of knowing when the other guy is bluffing.
When Bush lies, he twists his mouth around to the side and bites his lip.
Police interrogators have studied the art of lying for years. They note that moving ones hand near the face or covering the mouth while speaking is a "tell". The theory is that the person is unconsciously trying to cover the lie, or keep it from coming out, or capture it and push it back in. (Clinton touched his eye or his nose when he lied).
It seems to me this theory would also apply to biting your lip -- trying unconsciously to keep the lie from escaping. (Interestingly, mispronouncing words is also a "tell"). This should not be confused with the famous "smirk", which he exhibits when he says something that even he knows is either incredibly stupid or arrogant.
Anyway, I am bringing this to your attention as a public service announcement. Pay close attention the next time Bush speaks and see if you can spot it, too. It might help you better interpret his remarks.
I just wish the WhiteHouse.Gov archivers would insert "(bites lip)" in his speech transcripts, similar to how they insert "(applause)". It would help those of us who miss his TV broadcasts better understand what he's really saying.

nteresting. Rumsfeld, of course, set the levels for lying at one of his first press conferences when he told journalists that they could expect him to lie from time to time. They thought it was a joke. I notice that when Rumsfeld lies, he always laughs first. Like others in this Bush administration he exhibits all the classic signs of the pathological condition known as "narcissistic personality disorder". He successfully cloaks absolute ruthlessness in seemingly engaging and charming demeanor. Incidentally, another element of this psychiatric disorder is that narcissists surround themselves with others who share their psychosis. (They're the only ones who can stand each other.) Anybody who wants to understand the present "madness" of the US administration need only search the net for information for malignant "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and all will become very, very clear. An introduction can be found at http://www.angelfire.com/ego/narcissism/ amongh other locations on the web.

Actually, there's another comment I liked:

GW has always bothered me on telivision, he comes across as arrogant, decietful and smarmey. Last summer I took advantage of the opportunity to see him give a live speech in Metro-Detroit, he came across as smooth, capable and in control. The difference between live and televised appearances bothered me until now. In reading your post I realized when watching him on TV I am able to see and unconsciously register his facial expressions as arrogance and deceit while live I was at enough of a remove to take in the man as a whole without focusing on his facial expressions.

This may explain why he seems to have so much mass appeal and believebility, and why crowds seem to adore him. I mean, look at the audience when he adresses the military or a group of children. I'm watching it on TV and I'm thinking "he's spewing shit!" But the audience is always rapt with attention.

This next tidbit comes from atrios.blogspot.com. It's time to play "which one of these sentences doesn't fit a pattern?" Answer: all of them.

From Cheney's appearence on Meet The Press:

1. Saddam will try to get nuclear weapons: "I think that would be the fear here, that even if [Saddam] were tomorrow to give everything up, if he stays in power, we have to assume that as soon as the world is looking the other way and preoccupied with other issues, he will be back again rebuilding his BW and CW capabilities, and once again reconstituting his nuclear program."
-- Cheney, three or four minutes into Meet the Press, 3/16/03
2. Saddam is now trying to get nuclear weapons: "We know he’s out trying once again to produce nuclear weapons . . ."
-- Cheney, less than two minutes later
3. Saddam has succeeded in getting nuclear weapons: "He’s had years to get good at it and we know he has been absolutely devoted to trying to acquire nuclear weapons. And we believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons."
-- Cheney, less than two minutes later
4. It's only a matter of time until Saddam succeeds in getting nuclear weapons: "We’re now faced with a situation, especially in the aftermath of 9/11, where the threat to the United States is increasing. And over time, given Saddam’s posture there, given the fact that he has a significant flow of cash as a result of the oil production of Iraq, it’s only a matter of time until he acquires nuclear weapons."
-- Cheney, less than two minutes later

Followed by a comment I liked:

Defib Dick has no hesitation about lying, flagrantly, to the American people. And that idiot eunuch Russert utterly lacks the journalistic fortitude to ask the questions that need to be asked:

1. Are you still being paid by Halliburton in a form of "deferred compensation?"

2. Was Halliburton awarded a lucrative contract with heavy involvement in rebuilding Iraq after the war?

3. Has Halliburton, through its subsidiaries, sought to build a monopoly on the (already fairly small) oil-well firefighting industry?

4. If you don't know anything about what Halliburton was doing while you were in charge of the company, what were you doing there that deserves the compensation you got, and continue to receive?

5. If you can't keep track of what your own company was doing, what makes you think you have any business trying to run this one, or Iraq, for that matter?

6. Based on documents posted on the "Project for a New American Century" website, haven't you, Donald Rumsfeld, Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz, Zalmay Khalilzad, and others been planning this war against Iraq for more than 5 years, regardless of Saddam Hussein's presence in the country?

7. Isn't Hamid Karzai, the current President of Afghanistan, a former employee of Unocal?

8. Isn't Zalmay Khalilzad, White House envoy to the region, a former employee of Unocal?

9. Now that the United States has installed a government in Afghanistan, isn't the pipeline deal sought so desperately by Unocal, Enron, and other US energy companies going ahead?

10. Why is your face so red?

11. Would you like us to drive you to the hospital?



Finally, I found the site (http://www.newamericancentury.org/) with the letter to clinton asking for the war we are currently preparing for. Look at the signees, (http://www.newamericancentury.org/iraqclintonletter.htm) and how many of them are administration officials. Also look at the site's statement of principles. Sounds like imperial control of the world to me. (http://www.newamericancentury.org/iraqclintonletter.htm) This group of people have wanted war with Iraq and military molding of the world for a long time. Suddenly they're in power and they're doing just what they said. The war with iraq is not a new idea, and it's only the beginning of a much larger plan for the world. Get a pen and check off each objective as it's reached. You want to know what the administration will do in the future? This is it.

I now conclude this broadcast to return you to your regularly scheduled programming of dirty jokes.






::: posted by Comic Tools at 7:15 PM



Monday, March 17, 2003 :::
 
Seen on an American tank barrel: "Pay back!"

Gee, where did that soldier get THAT idea?

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:37 PM


 
I love this subliminal double talk the president uses to cover his ass and disseminate propoganda and lies at the same time.

"True, there's no direct link yet between al quaida and Iraq. I'm just saying that after september eleventh, Iraq is suddenly a major threat, whereas it wasn't before." Right. Just because it's impossible not to interpret that to mean that there is a direct link between al quaida and Iraq, since there's no other reason to connect 9/11 to it, it doesn't mean that he's trying to deliberately connect the two.

And I don't want to say the president is a big, fat idiot, I'm just saying that after the election, the amount if idiocy in the presidency went way, way up. Repeat: I am in no way intimating that the president is an idiot by saying that before he stepped in the white house, there was no big fat texan idiot inside, and immidiately after he stepped in, there was.

-Matt

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:34 PM



Saturday, March 15, 2003 :::
 
Would anybody be willing to help me out with a few BLOG questions? I just made my own and I want to know how to do stuff. In return, I will fax you a bagel.

::: posted by Jeff at 11:51 AM



Friday, March 14, 2003 :::
 
The video is here Fast forward to minute twenty nine, that's where the fun begins.

The blog, which is a great one, is xoverboard.com.

Here's an entry of his I liked:WHAT???

Oh, you're going to love this one.



---------------
On February 14, a Florida Appeals court ruled there is absolutely nothing illegal about lying, concealing or distorting information by a major press organization. The court reversed the $425,000 jury verdict in favor of journalist Jane Akre who charged she was pressured by Fox Television management and lawyers to air what she knew and documented to be false information. The ruling basically declares it is technically not against any law, rule, or regulation to deliberately lie or distort the news on a television broadcast.

In its six-page written decision, the Court of Appeals held that the Federal Communications Commission position against news distortion is only a "policy," not a promulgated law, rule, or regulation.


Fox aired a report after the ruling saying it was "totally vindicated" by the verdict.


---------------
So, just in case you still had any lingering doubts whatsoever about the complete and utter uselessness of the American news media, well be sure to thank Fox, who have now secured legal certification of the right to lie their ass off. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find the will to live.





::: posted by Comic Tools at 4:31 PM


 
Welcome to the Bagel!



::: posted by Jeff at 11:03 AM



Thursday, March 13, 2003 :::
 
Speaking of watching out for other things besides the war:

FBI intercepts package between two journalists.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:27 PM


 
Some specifics on claims I made during our political discussion the other night, plus some new tidbits, if anyone's interested:

Some specifics about US bribery to get countries on the coalition here.

New York city has officially joined 140 other cities and counties in opposition to war. One can hardly say that these people do not appreciate the severity of September 11th. One could say, however, that they have their heads on unusually straight. Odd that support for the war grows the farther you get from ground zero, isn't it?

More specifics on my claim that Cheney is a war profiteer who stands to make a great deal from this war.


Remember folks, the importance of knowing this stuff is twofold: One, the more you read, the less likely you'll be sucked in by Bush's excellently successful propoganda campaign. At this point, almost half of americans believe that Saddam Hussein has aided al quaida, and over half believe he was responsible for September 11th. I would call this highly successful use of the "if you repeat a lie often enough" propoga method. the other reason to actively learn the news is so you can intelligently argue with others- no one finds "cm'on, man, let's all love each other" to be a convincing solution to a complex geopolitical situation involving dozens of nations, webs of alliances and hatreds, complex systems of bribery, vested interests, and egos, and morally grey motives on all sides. You need to know your shit. You need to research the people involved for years back in their careers, you need to know the basics about the history and current situation in the regions involved, and you need a good bullshit-detection system to tell when people are lying. So if someone asks you why you are anti-war, are you some kind of terrorist commie?, you can intelligently explain your views to them.

I try, with these occassional news posts, to help keep my friends informed a bit, but you guys should keep a lookout too.

And don't forget, while we're all watching Bush and Iraq, Ashcroft and North korea are sneaking up behind you with the Patriot 2 bill and Nuclear weapons. Plus, the terrorists are still out there, and unlike Saddam, they ARE an immidiate threat. Makes you want to grow a second mind's eye in the back of your head.

It seems like all the media I consume nowdays is just comics to keep me happy and sane, and news about what the fuck the administration is doing. This break has allowed me to see some other news and entertainment, like That Smart girl being found alive, and a great episode of junkyard wars last night. It gets boring eating the same brainfood all the time.

This is slowly turning into a personal post.

Well, after three straight days of abslute doing nothing, I think I'll write an essay or two today. Perhaps do some sketches for my drawing assignment. Or maybe I'll fiddle and fart around all day again. It's all good, really.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 1:18 PM



Tuesday, March 11, 2003 :::
 
Molly, are you a senior? Do you even read this anymore? My dream job just opened up at your school. I think i might apply for it.

::: posted by Jeff at 10:55 PM



Sunday, March 09, 2003 :::
 
Someone should play it softly in Bush's sleep, so he'll subliminally absorb it and stop thinking he's the second, deformed son of God.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 2:22 PM



Tuesday, March 04, 2003 :::
 
I like this consumptive tax thing. By not taxing most essentials, it hassles the poor less, and by taxing luxry items, it ensures only people who can pay will be taxed. (And encourages a bit of thrift.) Plus, it would make all the "buy stuff to help our economy" bullshit valid. Thus, it would encourage more trade and business in times of economic trouble. Has this tax system been applied anywhere, and if so, to what result? I think I like it.

By all means, a CD of it all would be wonderful.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:28 PM



Monday, March 03, 2003 :::
 

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::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:52 PM


 
Ben, you ARE a funny asian man.

And no Jason, while they did do similarly stupid things with us, they did nothing so inconvienient. Why, pray tell, are they not doing this at community meeting? And why do you have health meetings in Junior year? We only had those as Freshmen.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 6:45 PM


 
Love the debates. Here are a few thoughts I'd like to add:

1. It is easy to get caught up in the very black-and-white idea that business = bad. Big corporations do not exist to create evil. However, they do not exist to create good either. They exist to make a profit. The way they go about doing that can be more or less honest, and where the profit goes is anybody's guess. Let me say this word: IMAGE. Giving their pocket change to charity helps a corporate IMAGE. That's why they do it. Now, like I said, it is rarely this black-and-white, and there are good people in that world, but remember the goal of corporations. We know just how compassionate these big businesses are when we hear about gazillions of people being laid off because of globalization or competition (same thing?) or another Wal-Mart moving to a village near you. So, they're not EVIL, but they are not compassionate people. They are not people. They are corporations, made of people who collectively don't make decisions about other people but only about the corporation. I saw this first-hand growing up, when my father had a high-level position in a big corporation and had trouble answering questions I would ask him as a 6-year-old about the decisions he and his other suits would make.

2. How true that the wealthy rarely work harder than the poor! Exceptions aside, the difference is not in the amount of work but in the opportunities provided. I have seen this first-hand, too. Most of us are so privileged that we just don't understand this. We take our privileges for granted. Statistics show (and I can try to provide this if anybody doesn't believe me) that if your parents are wealthy, you will be too! And if your parents are not, you will not either. Shifting among economic classes is very very rare in this country and extremely difficult. I do not mean to devalue hard work. But that's not all you need. For example, college can teach you skills and ideas. Not going to college can also do that. I know plenty of admirable people who did not go, or do not plan to go, to college. But we know that a college degree almost certainly garuntees a higher income.

I guess we could argue all year about who deseerves what. I hate class separation.

Love,
jeff

::: posted by Jeff at 2:28 PM


 
Well that's your problem, Nick. Your computer is made of shit. What you need is a computer made of silicon. Electricity doesn't travel well through shit. Except for electric eel shit. Electric eel shit is so charged from being in the eel that it doesn't even need electricity. You could make a computer out of electric eel shit, or wait for the new Macintosh Ishit, which utilizes patent-pending, all natural eel shit technology.

Good point: I conceed on the bailing out businesses part- at least in certain cases. And believe you me, I'm no democratic sympathiser.

No, I don't want to send weasels to infest your genitals, but I do disagree on this point, and I do think it's one of the actual differences between conservative and liberal politics. I don't think the rich work any harder than their poorer workers- in many cases they work less. Furthermore, I don't think they're in more risk of a stock crash ruining them than a poor person is of being laid off- in fact, layoffs are usually the result of econimic problems in a company, like say, a stock market crash. And even if a wealthy person does lose their company, they'll almost always be on better economic footing afterwards than a poor person.

As for exact per capita wealth, I honestly don't know what my cutoff would be, or what my proposed taxation would be. I simply don't know enough about that to speak intelligently on it.

I do notice some confusion in your argument about whether we're talking about taxing companies or people. I realize that many companies utilize their profits to help charities, as well as performing other good and helpful services in the communities they occupy, like sponsoring events and such. But I'm talking about taxes on the income of individuals. I don't care about how much the company makes, because not everyone in a company makes the same amount.

I have no idea what consumptive taxation is, and at your leisure I would very much appreciate an explanation.

By the way, I'd lie to thank you as well. This is a perfect model of what political debates are supposed to be like- one person says an opinion about an issue, not an attack on the other's beliefs personally. The other responds with their opinions and evidence. Some times concessions are made, and opinions shifted. Sometimes understanding is reached. Sometimes one person (me) simply doesn't know enough about an issue to continue, which encourages education and betterment. Or sometimes the two simply disagree on something. That's how political debate is supposed to be- not a republican and a democrat on CNN going "You're an immoral faggot commie tratior!" "You're a racist greedy prude!" *Battle ensues, with democrat losing, becuase he didn't carry a concealed weapon.* It's rare to see a political debate where disagreements aren't phrased in screaming tyrades by deaf morons. I thank you for the opportunity.

Also, I want to thank you for your thourogh, well thought-out responses. I appreciate the effort.

Before I skidaddle to class, I'd liek to ask you a Jethro Tull question- Did Ian do more blues songs, like "It was a new day yesterday" or "Jeffery's song?" (Or was it "song for Jeffery?") Anyway, stuff like that, is there more? Is there perhaps even an album like that? That would be great.

-Matt, I like Ben's Nuke Texas and DC policy.

::: posted by Comic Tools at 11:35 AM

ARCHIVES :::

Ben, Nick, Molly, Matt, Carter, Maria, Christy, Jason, Greg, Eric, and UNCLE JEFF!! We are truly honored to have someone among us who is over 20 and claims to have some sort of responsibility. It won't last long.